A
female
age
41-50,
*osephine1
writes:HelloI am trying to keep it short but I m very glad for your guys feedback.My boyfriend, i mean my ex and i were having an long distance relationship. we tried to see each other every 2 weeks.2 weeks ago we had our first intense argue.we sorted things out and decided to continue with our relationship.so seeing each other again was as usual i did not see this coming! he told me ond sunday after spending 2 nights with him he went out for another and came back telling me he can t handle the relationship, he has been there before and rather hurt me now than later?!?he loves me even more than i do love him bla bla...after my hundreds of words to convince him to give us a change and to figure what exactly he is referring to he said the relationship is over, i m not the one.there is nothing i can do to change this. the morning before he told me he does not want to loose me...I left although had 0 plan where to go and stay because i wa sonly travelling back home the next day. of course i could have stayed the night but that would have been horrible.until now he has not contacted to at least check if i m fine...this is all so strange and weird...we were seeing each other 8 months and it was him tryingand fighting so hard to have me as his girlfriend then i only committed 5 months after.any idea what's up?
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female
reader, Josephine1 +, writes (15 December 2015):
Josephine1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don t believe really.
they separated since 4 years and divorced officially since beginning of 2015.
he was never hiding this and was quite open about the reason of separation and divorce.
he has not much left for her accept she the mama of his kidz.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (15 December 2015):
 Hmm, maybe he's still involved with the baby mama. It seems that attached men pursue more strongly than single men. They are more desperate for love than people who are free to do whatever. With distance it is easy for them to conduct a love affair when you can't see what they are hiding.
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A
female
reader, Josephine1 +, writes (14 December 2015):
Josephine1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe thing is i got to know his fam.
he was pushing for me to move. he also has two kidz who i have not met.
if it was only that why so much effort why asking me to cone over another weekend after we could have ended it before?
we have 14 years age difference and i think it s unbelievabel that a man (i m 32) of that age is into such let s call it games.
he was really fighting for me until that argument.
i was the one not committing but now i listened to his wishes and his plans i started to build on it not tomorrow but maybe in a year or two...
when he told me nothing can change his mind he had tears in his eyes.
is this really over and shall i let go or should i gove it some time and then try to talk to him?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (14 December 2015):
I see this as, him rather be the dumper than the dumpee. He would rather commit first, then come up with some big argument to end it, than to say he couldn't do it at the beginning. So he would not be the bad guy, the commitment phobe.
It's also easy to plan dates, then to secretly hate the travelling back and forth. It's easy to say sweet words and have someone fall for them. To back it up is what counts in real life.
This is the case of not knowing how to discontinue right from the beginning and dressing up the relationship so you don't suspect him being the one with the problem. Also too curious at the beginning about how it turns out. He just wanted to have a girlfriend, a romance, no matter how long it lasted.
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