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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hello everyone this is 'My Teacher Blushes When Seeng Me and Mines Not Infatuation'Thanks for your answers!Sure I blew him a kiss once or twice as a joke when I didn’t like him and it was just my first year in this new school I,m sure he knew I was joking and would respond by laughing or something and besides nobody was there. But now I,ve stopped since I realized that I really do love my teacher and I know that my joking would do nothing but cause serious suspicion among the staff and students.I think he has sensed that I love him too because some of my friends jokes as he seems to blush a lot around me and sometimes tries to distance himself from me by trying to ignore me or not be his usual way by caring and asking how I am.I,m just so deeply in love with him that I can,t seem to be able to handle this situation. A single smile or hi from him would make my day. Whenever I see him I feel butterflies in my stomach, my heart skips a beat and I feel myself turning weak. Of course I wouldn’t do something which would threaten his career or personal family life. I love him so much that I would even be willing to distance myself from him. But he is making my life a little more difficult than it already is by the way he acts around me.Sometimes throughout class he looks at me in strange ways that I can’t figure out. I really want to know the real meaning behind his mysterious ways. xxx in love with a teacher xxx I really need advice and no I,m not stupid enough to make a careless move which could cause him trouble and nowadays I do my best to ignore him and keep out of his way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): I am in the exact same situation. It's tough isn't it? Well, it's good that you are willing to distance yourself from him. Just wait until you graduate to tell him how you feel.
Well, in my case, i'm just going to let him come to me, and if he never does, i guess it's ok.
I have been ignoring my teacher for quite sometime now, and he seems to be noticing this. It's sort of a game we play with each other. I hate it because we lose the connection we have for a couple of months, but then we reconnect during the spring. it's always been like that.
He seems sad when I leave his class, and I catch him sneaking glances. I love this teacher, but clearly he can't be mine, so i'm just going to enjoy the attention w/out any strings attatched. (which sucks, because I want him so bad!)
So, i suggest you do the same. Just enjoy the attention, and if this still happens until the end of your Senior year, go for it after you graduate.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): Predatory students who use flirting to intimidate and bully teachers have become such a common problem in classrooms that staff need professional advice throughout their careers on how to tackle the situation, according to a new book. Extra training, including role playing on how to deal with students who genuinely believe they are in love, is also needed to help teachers avoid malicious and false allegations of sexual abuse. 'As sexual sophistication and knowledge increase among children and young people, these scenarios have become a much more common problem,' said Kate Myers, author of Teachers Behaving Badly?, to be published by Routledge this week. 'Children are encouraged to present themselves as sexual beings at an ever younger age, while the growth of "ladette" culture has made flirting with male teachers into a challenge some girls set each other,' added Myers, emeritus professor at the University of Keele. Jonathan Dunning-Davies was 25 last year when he was accused by a 15-year-old girl of fondling her breast after an unruly class in which foul language among students had been routine. Acquitted last March after a 20-minute hearing at Hull Crown Court, he blames the school, not the teacher training system, for failing to give him basic training that might have helped. 'I received no training at all on what to do in these situations,' said Dunning-Davies, who went from teaching to driving a van and is now unemployed. 'We were practically thrown into the classroom straight away and had no idea how to deal with the attention we suddenly received from young girls.' Myers, who is also a senior associate of the Learning Network at the University of Cambridge, found that both male and female teachers reported being embarrassed, undermined and humiliated by students. She heard of teachers being forced to endure sexually intimidating behaviour through obscene phone calls, text messages, emails and letters, as well as comments about their bodies and sex lives and obscene gestures. 'Flirting can be aggressive or, often in the case of boys, the sexual connotations can be more subtle,' she said. 'Boys might act as protectors of women teachers or simply set out to please them. Older male pupils know the power situation with female teachers is not straightforward and that acting as protectors towards their female teachers can make the teacher potentially vulnerable.' Flirting by a student can be the result of a genuine infatuation, a child practising his or her sexuality, or be far more disturbing and calculated. 'I came across one male student who displayed a calculating hardness in his interactions with staff,' Myers said. 'He was particularly stylish in his unnerving public chivalry: he could open a door for a teacher with a flourish that was at once courteous and threatening. 'This is an issue that is not spoken about nearly enough, but teachers - particularly those who are trainees, young or who teach lessons on a supply basis - are terribly vulnerable to this sort of abuse by students.' There are no statistics as to how often teachers report being targeted by unwanted advances from students, but a poll by the National Association of Schoolmasters and Union of Women Teachers last year found that, while allegations of sexual abuse had been made against 1,742 teachers in the past decade, just 69 were convicted. There is also evidence that the number of false allegations is growing, with 183 made in 2003 compared with 44 in 1991. 'Quite often young teachers fall victim to false allegations simply because the pupil has had a crush and feels rejected,' said Chris Keates, acting general secretary of the NASUWT. In England, extensive guidance as to how to deal with classroom discipline is provided by the Department for Education and Skills and the Council of Local Education Authorities. Most LEAs now have a code of conduct for staff in schools, but David James, professional standards manager with the General Teaching Council, admits that the advice in the codes is generalised and illustrative. 'The exercise of judgment by the individual teacher is the hallmark of professionalism,' he added. 'But these situations are among the most complex, testing and traumatic for any school leader to face.' Keates, however, believes there needs to be far more practical and prescriptive information for teachers on how to deal with flirting by students. 'There absolutely should be more on this in teacher training,' she said. 'Teachers need to know immediately what to do to protect themselves from a situation that can, if it goes wrong, ruin both their lives and their careers.' The amendment of the Sexual Offences Act last year made it a criminal offence for a teacher to have sexual relations with a pupil, but Myers believes it is wrongly assumed that, because of their age, authority and experience, teachers always hold the power in teacher-student relationships. 'Sexual behaviour exists in schools, even though it may be unnoticed or ignored. By not confronting and addressing these issues, educators are culpable of condoning behaviours that are not considered acceptable elsewhere in society,' she said.
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