A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my fiancé for 6 years now he is much older than me and I have just recently caught the eye of a wonderful man that is my age that has a good head on his shoulders and is very charming and respectful the only bad part is we are currently in long term relationships so we have mutual respect but there was such a powerful physical attraction to each other that we r currently having an affair i at first was ok with just a fwb understanding but I find myself at a crossroads we are so well matched it is crazy we have a lot in common I just don't know what to do help......
View related questions:
affair Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 April 2018):
 I don't really think it matters that your fiance is a lot more older than you. You are the one that agreed to marry him and spend six years of your life so far with him. So another man caught your eye, that happens easily enough. I see attractive people all the time and I am married. Even an innocent flirt can make you feel good. But you are both in relationships and you are both being unfaithful. You need to ask yourself why? What can he give you that you don't already have? If it is purely sex then believe me that will die down in time. I think you need to end your relationship. If you loved him you would not be having sex with another man. So that is the first decent thing you should do. After that then it is your choice what you do.
A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (3 April 2018):
 This sounds like a fantasy. Here is where I'll give my input:
Something is lacking in your relationship which is why you went outside looking for it. With that been said; both you and this guy are playing a very dangerous game, one in which, 4 or more people can possibly get hurt. It definitely does not make the situation any better (the fact that you guys have things in common) because the fact of the matter is that both of you are unfaithful (one more thing in common there I guess) and therefore, you both are cheaters. It isn't just physical attraction and common interests here and there that goes into making an actual relationship work... there is much more to it. The fact that you haven't considered all of the facets shows that this is most likely infatuation, or a crush at best, one that has the potential to ruin your life.
MY advice; if you aren't happy with your fiancé, just leave him be. Nobody deserves to feel like they're easily replaceable.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2018): [EDIT]:
"Marrying your fiance would only be out of convenience; and the blessing will be delayed or withdrawn from your joining due to deception and betrayal."
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2018): Physical-attraction for somebody else is always justification for cheating on your fiance, right? Wrong!
You just can't help yourself, right? Wrong again!
If you go through with the marriage, it will be under the dark cloud of deception.
You're cheating with someone else, but holding on to your fiance; because you've got yourself a sure-thing on the one-hand, and a play-thing on the other.
A marriage of convenience is usually a failure. The karma will surely catch up with you. Trying to be shifty, while you have your cake and to eat it too, only works until you're caught. You will get caught! The stone-cold irony would be the breakup happening just the day before you stand at the alter! Or, he just doesn't show-up for the wedding! Oh snap! That would sting like hell!
Bragging about betrayal is really inhumane and very selfish.
You're likely to get it back ten-fold and the payback is usually worse than the bad deed.
Confess to your fiance. Leaving it to chance that he finds-out by accident will be devastating. For you, the outcome would be much worse.
End the engagement and remain with the man that you really want.
Marrying the other guy would only be out of convenience; and the blessing will be delayed or redrawn from your joining due to deception and betrayal. You're not slick enough to get-off Scott-free. He doesn't deserve it and your conscience will devour you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 April 2018):
 Is this... where you go APRIL FOOL'S DAY? Because this post is so devoid of common sense and reality.
But in case this is a "real" post...
First of all WHY be engaged when you can't even be faithful?
Your fiance's age and that of your "lover" is irrelevant. You made a CHOICE to get engaged with the goal of getting married and I presume exclusive?
So why are you fucking around? Because this younger guy makes you feel good? That is a good excuse, you think?
If you were hoping an affair could be kept secret so you could have some fun on the side, then you are too immature for marriage. And maybe even a "grown up" relationship.
If you aren't satisfied with your fiance, BREAK the engagement and END that relationship. Adding more people to a relationship doesn't FIX it. Cheating doesn't fix a relationship wither.
How would you feel if your fiance started cheated on you? And this FWB "partner" of yours fucked other women too? That would be great, right? Because what is good for the goose is good for the gander? Or? Do you have some double standard that because you are younger than your fiance you can do what you want?
Grow up, OP
Be a decent human being.
End your engagement. End your relationship with your fiance, HE deserves better than who you are treating him.
If you want your younger f-buddy then go for it AFTER you have ended your relationship. You will soon find out that trust is NOT part of the equation. He can't trust you and you can't trust him.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2018): You don't love the man you're in a 6 year relationship with. If you did, you wouldn't act on a physical attraction to another man. Somebody brand new I might add so at FIRST he might seem more exciting til reality sets in. Let go of your current guy. If he found out, he's dump you anyway. You don't know anything about commitment.
...............................
|
