A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I split with my boyfriend of two and a half years, last week. The split was due to his cheating which happened on two occasions with different women. When we split he said that he was sorry and that it is his loss, and that he wishes we hadnt split up. He text me last night to say "i feel crap its hurting me you thinking i never loved you or wanted you, wish things had not changed". i have not answered. Im missing him so much, yet i know that i could not trust him now, so splitting up was probably the best thing. I feel like im doing the right thing, but do not like the thought of being without him even so. I was about to text him but decided to come on here instead. What do you think? am i doing the best thing? its hurting me alot today.Aside from his cheating, since we met i have never really felt special to him, he tends to keeps his feelings to himself when it comes to me, but, finds it easy to flirt with others. we live 45 mins drive from each other and he did all the traveling to mine usually comming to see me around two times per week if he could. He did not acknowledge my birthday before christmas, it did upset me him not saying 'happy birthday' but i know he is forgetfull too so i diddnt make too much of it, but when he was here last week before we split, he rang his colleague (one of the women he cheated with) to say "i hope you have a good day with josh (her son) on his birthday", that made me feel like crying.he is wanting to remain friends, but i do not know if that is a good idea, i do not know how i would be if he met someone else, i still love him.this may sound silly but last night when i lay in bed i cried because i want to be with him, i want to feel special to him, i miss him, but then i remind myself of his cheating and that apart from his text he has not really tried to win me back.can someone give me any advice or support i feel like im in limbo here, i know i cant trust him but i feel like i want to go running to him too.thank you
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female
reader, mochadice  +, writes (3 February 2009):
my boyfriend cheated and had a kid, i stayed like an idiot and my life has been hell since. at this point he lies all the time, he goes over the women that he cheated with house all the time to see his 2 kids. i am breaking up with him as we speak. i cant take it anymore and you shouldnt either
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): hi im the orignial poster on this page.just want to say thank you to all who gave there advice and views, it has helped me alot today, its amazing the extra strength it gives me at the moment, i have not text and i am putting my new sim card into my phone soon as i finish this.I knew when reading your messages that were right, i think i just needed confimation of some kind. once again thank you so much.
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A
female
reader, StupidCupid...  +, writes (2 February 2009):
 Hey babygirl,The only thing you need right now is a box of tissues, huggable teddybear, chocolate ice-cream, sex and the city or Bridget Jones Diaries.. Girlfriends or just be alone somtimes is all you want. Most of all YOU NEED TO TURN THAT DAM PHONE OFF!!!!! For 2 weeks and if any msg's come up from him do not read them just delete them straight away without reading. If there is anything in the house that reminds you of him put it in a big box and put it away in the garage for atleast 6mths or forever or just burn it!!! Delete his phone number and every msg you have of his.. he is a BIG FAT LOOSER!! Girlfriend you can do so much better and deserve to treated with respect!! I can't believe use were 2getha for 2 1/2 yrs and he forgot your birthday that's not forgetful sweety that's nasty.. you need to kick his arse to the kurb for good.. The heart heals.. It will heal in time just stay focused and he'll probably come crawling back don't give in.. Write a list before you even think about taking him back - of all the good and bad things weigh up the list. Once a cheater allways a cheater as far as I'm concerned. Keep your chin up... Good luck!!!
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A
female
reader, Mels  +, writes (2 February 2009):
Sweetie, I really feel for you, I have been there too with with my ex hubby. Let me tell you something: you deserve and will have better. I know it sounds the classic answer and I didn't believe it when ppl said it to me 18 months ago, but it is true. He doesn't deserve you and if you take him back you will regret it because he will end up doing it again at some point and if he's not very good with showing his feelings, it is unlikely he will every change and give you what you need. I know it hurts like mad, I know you can't sleep, you can't eat, you can't think of anything else. It will take time and it will slowly change. Usually it takes a couple of months to start feeling a tiny bit better. After a week you are still in deep shock, then you will be in denyal, the grief, then anger. I am still angry at my ex hubby even if I am getting married again to somebody who deserves me. I think you need a clean break to move on and find the right man for you. eing friends with him will only remind you how hurt you feel and lengthen the process of your recovery. I know you think you'll never feel better but you will in time. Pls, do one thing: ignore him and start doing little things for yourself, things that you have always wanted to do and to achieve. I for example totally changed my career and got my dream job, and stared running and swimming... I used my free time to do things which would please just me. And obviously your friends and family will offer you support and company in some of these activities. Pls, don't take him back, soon you will have better. You'll be in my prayers. Let me know how it goes if you ever feel like it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): You will still cry a thousand more tears for this man, he has broken your heart when all you wanted was to be his angel his one and only special girl, he took your dreams and heart and shattered it, and yes he does not deserve you, not with the way he is behaving right now, I know how much it hurts when the lights go out, and you realize just how alone you are feeling, and I am sure that pretty soon he will notice what he lost, but angel as you said you never felt special, and if this man cannot make you feel special he is not worth it, I am not saying he will never change, coz dear stranger things has happened in life : ) TRUST is the one thing that doesn’t come cheap, it shard work, and once your trust is broken girl you will always have questions until her has repaired your trust and your heart, and it doesn’t seem like he wants to, and if he does you need to make sure that he is working for it, you have been burned not only once but twice and this time make him sweat, some guys really love their girls, but cheating is such a second nature, that it doesn’t bother them, but when they lose the one they love it’s a different story, and they will try and change who they allowed themselves to become, your heart is still very bruised, and it might be best not to see him for a while, just to give yourself some solid ground to stand on, but you need to teach yourself to feel special without the help of another person, coz love if you need your boyfriend to make you feel special it can cause problems, but I understand what you feeling, you want to catch him checking you out, you want to find him staring at you and when you ask him why hes starting, you want him to say coz your beautiful you want his jaw to drop to the floor when you dressed up for him, and when he doesn’t do that you feel unwanted and unloved. And it hurts it really does, but perhaps then he is not worthy of you, girl I don’t wanna break your heart more but do you think this man is worthy of your heart and love after he ripped it out of your chest and spat on it for the 2nd time? ?? you deserve better, tell yourself that all the time it might make it easier This is my only opinion and its only based on the fact that you deserve to feel special you deserve to feel wanted sexy and loved, and you shouldn’t settle for anything less.Please stay logged into this site, there are many wonderful people here who will listen and give you support, its helped millions already Good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): Honestly if you get back with him he will DEFINITELY cheat, i promise you that. The first 2 weeks are hellish. But after that things will start to get better. Don't be a fool and go out with him again. There are so many better guys out there for you (Even though at the moment you won't want them) I bet he's already gone and hooked up with someone else.Don't go out with him.DON'T ALRIGHT!?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): you dont need that man, he knows he can get away with his bad manners, just forget him. imagine he is just deads and move on everything is possible
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