A
female
age
36-40,
*aime88
writes:like a year ago (nov), i met B, who i worked with at a pub, i was very shy at first and i liked him, i used to hang out with him and his two roomates and party at there apartment after work, now i always had a thing for ben, but i befriended his roomate M so i could get to know ben, but mark fell for me, which i haden't planed on happening, nothing came of it, and he still likes me, and i still like Ben, me and ben almost hooked up once, but i have never done anything with M until last night, we hooked up, ui was trashed, first time i drank in a long time, and i was drunk with in five min of getting there, B, M, and T were there, tom and ben had gone up to bed, i usally sleep in one of there beds, we don't do anything, and if M tried anything, i would usally turn him down, make a excuse, anything but the truth, that i didn't like him that way, but last night i was wasted and one thing led to another, i felt bad today, i think M wants a relationship, but my heart isn't there, and feel i ruined any chace of dating B, who i really do like, i hate my self right now. what do i do help?
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female
reader, jaime88 +, writes (19 October 2008):
jaime88 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do not work with Ben anymore, I quit the job last March.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (19 October 2008):
I think you need to back away from all of them and stop hanging out there.
Ben could well have been keeping his distance so M (who he knew liked you more than he does) could have chance with you.
Ben will hurt M badly if he goes out with you and he's going to put his friendship first so I don't think you have a chance.
As for M, you have to split up with him and then stop seeing him so he can get over you. As far as he knows, you keep coming round to see him and you've slept with him. He doesn't realise you were using him the whole time to get to Ben.
Stop going round and stop seeing all of them. Just see Ben at work and then maybe when M has moved on and found someone new, you may have a chance with Ben. Whether he wants to date you at all now you've been with his friend, no one knows.
Give it a lot of time and space.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008): jaime88,
I think the best thing you could do is let things cool down a bit. After a couple days, weeks, months,etc. however long u think it's going to take for the both of you to forget the situation, then u can try again with the one guy you like.
Another thing you could do is after a while try and find a friend who might like M and see if you could hook them up that way he isn't so interested in you.
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