A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I slept with my ex and now im confused again about us. I dont know if I want something more than that or whether it was a mistake. We are always in contact since we broke up but now im afraid he'll think im a sex mad girl who is just after one thing. Im really not like that at all. I think i still love him but sleeping with him before we sorted things out was a mistake. Whats my next move. Can I salvage this situation (along with my reputation)?? Please help, im so miserable.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): Good luck. Communication and honest work best, especially when your dealing with a friend. Blessings.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys, i think i just needed to hear that i havent completely screwed up. I think I will have to speak to him and explain that I think it was a mistake. Im not the type of girl that sleeps around, he knows that so homefully will work out. I think i do love him though and would like to rekindle a proper relationship with him and not just a friends - with - benefits thing. AS for why we broke up it was bout a year ago, it was a silly misunderstanding but led to hurt feelings on both sides and i think we were both too scared to say that we wanted to get back together/how we felt over the past year. we have been in constant contact though very casually. I think I need to be honest now and say what i want so that this doesnt go on for another year...
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): Trisha is perfectly right.. Sleeping with your ex is a common mistake. We loved them right, we found them attractive and felt safe enough to have sex. Of course sometimes we miss them.. and well... a little vunerability, the right situation.. These things happen.
Forget about the "sex mad" thing, he slept with you as well. He is probably thinking the same thing, "What dose it mean, and why did I sleep with my ex?" I'm not sure why you two broke up, but your still in contact, your friends, so there is some kind of caring relationship there. I agree with Trish, bring this into the open, and tell him it's a mistake that you don't want to repeat. Take some time, think carefully about if you want a relationship. There's no hurry, you've got time to work out if you want to continue friendship or if you want something else. Your allowed one mistake, but DON'T SLEEP WITH HIM AGAIN, untill you know what your feeling and where you stand. Good luck, blessings.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (6 August 2008):
 Hi, sorry for not answering sooner, it's been very busy here on DearCupid and some questions seem to be slipping through the cracks. So I apologize for that.
I think you should just be honest with him about the fact that you think this was a mistake. It's certainly not an uncommon thing to have sex with an ex, because he's a known entity and sometimes you just need the physical closeness to someone else.
In terms of salvaging your reputation, I think if you are honest with him about this, you shouldn't suffer any dings in your image. Well, maybe only a little teeny one, for being human. But that's certainly forgivable!
Hold your head high, tell him that you feel that the sex was a mistake, and that you have no intentions of repeating this until things are sorted out one way or the other. Then stick to that. Don't cave, I know you probably miss that close physical intimacy, but this is going to mess with your head if you keep it up. As it is, you're only guilty of being human and wanting to feel close to him again.
Hope this helps. Chin up, girl, it's not as bad as you think. ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello.......... anybody there???
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