A
female
age
36-40,
*nnabeth
writes:I´ve been really,really stupid. Last week, after a business meeting, he offered me a ride home. We had been flirting about a month. In the car we started to kiss and he invited me to his home, because his wife was out of town. We had quite a lot of drinks and we ended up in bed. I stayed there all night and when I woke up next morning I felt very confused about it. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I really regret it now. His wife is pregnant with their first child, I feel so bad for her. At work he has offered me a higher position. It´s something I´ve wanted for a long time, but I can´t stop thinking he´s only doing it because I slept with him. I´m so stressed about anyone finding out that I can hardly do my job properly. Do you think it would be for the best if I left the company?
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at work, flirt, my boss Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2009): From a practical point of view, he's not likely to shout about his indiscretion from the rooftops and neither are you, so who is going to find out and how?
If you take the job as things stand at the moment you might feel that you slept your way into it. He might have offered you a promotion because you were good in bed and it's some sort of payment for services rendered - or maybe he thought it was a good way to get into your underwear in future. Not good from either point of view, but actresses have been on the casting couch for decades so there's nothing new in that and you're certainly not unique in that respect.
We all make mistakes and get carried away in the heat of the moment. I'd suggest that this was your mistake. Forgive yourself if possible and make sure it's a one-off occurrence. Tell him you'll take the job but if he thinks you're going to get on his casting couch again he can forget it - diplomatically of course. Tell him that from now on it's purely professional, and that's the only way you'll accept the job.
I think you'd have a pretty good case for constructive dismissal if he fired you after this.
A
male
reader, Gate85 +, writes (18 February 2009):
This has the makings of a sexual harassment case. Do yourself a favor ask for a transfer to another department or find a job in another company. Nothing good can come from this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): I agree with the first poster. In his mind, this was just a down payment on that position. Do you want to keep making payments every week or month when his wife is away?You may have very well deserved the promotion, but if this is what he thought was necessary to give it to you then I don't think that you really want it.
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A
female
reader, iolahova  +, writes (16 February 2009):
 yes it would be great sorry but its better then letting someone find out!so just do what your heart tells you to! it'd be awkward for you to see your boss everyday..it was a bad idea sleeping with him but eh?cmon everyone makes mistakes! soo just the best thing i could help you is for you to just leave and find another job!thnx hope i helped xx
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A
female
reader, iolahova +, writes (16 February 2009):
yes it would be great sorry but its better then letting someone find out!so just do what your heart tells you to! it b awkward for you to see your boss everyday..it was a bad idea sleeping with him but eh?cmon everyone makes mistakes! soo just the best thing i could help you is for you to just leave and find another job!thnx hope i helped xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): yes you should leave it sounds bad but eh? do you want everyoen to find out no? so its the best idea for you hun!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): If you take the position, you can expect this affair to continue for as long as you're in the company.
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