A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've gotten myself into a sticky situaion,and need some help. Long story short,I met a guy about a month ago,and ended up staying the night at his house and we had sex a few times that night. About a week or so later he said him and his ex were getting back together,so we havent seen each other anymore.I signed up for a dating website about 2 weeks ago,and a guy contacted me that looked familiar. After thinking about if for a bit,I remembered why he looked familiar. He is the roomate/friend of the guy I slept with last month. So against my better judgement,we have been talking,and have started texting each other off the website. When I asked if he thought his friend would get mad at him that we are talking,he seemed to have no idea why I thought that. He knew me and his friend had exchanged numbers,but he didn't know we ever actually got together after that,(so he says). He seems to think it's no big deal...I don't know if he knows in his mind that me and his friend had sex,I told him his friend kinda screwed me over,but I dont know how he took that. Do you think this is something I should stay far away from? He says he's looking for a girlfriend,not a hookup. And we have plans to go out in a couple days to a sports bar. But I keep thinking,what if he really does know everything that happened,and thinks he's just going to get laid? I told him I'm not going to his house,but we could go out. And also what happens when/if the roomate finds out that we are talking now? I know women have a rule that you don't mess with guys that they have messed with,whether you dated or not doesn't matter. But are men the same way,or do you think he really won't care? I don't want to cause any problems between them,or any problems for myself either.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): There is exactly ONE good way for this guy to learn that you slept with his friend: You tell him yourself, and you do it very soon.
It's no good for you if he finds out from his friend. It's no good if you try to keep it a secret forever (trust me, that won't work.) The worst is if you lead him to think nothing happened with his friend, he gets serious about you, and then the truth comes out much later on.
Telling him the truth soon will not stop this whole thing from being a potential problem. He may still not take you seriously as GF material. I am not telling you how to get exactly what you want, I am telling you how to control the damage from this as much as possible. Getting what you really want may already be out of the cards. There's no way to know yet.
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (23 August 2011):
 just take things very slowly and carefully with this guy coz chances are he knows all about your sex with his room mate and he is interested in you coz he is hoping for the same.
if he is serious about you only time will tell
x
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