A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Slept with him, but is he interested?I recently met a guy i get on really well with. I have seen him 3 times over a period of 2 months as he works away a lot. We keep in touch through email and occassional texts, but thats it. I dont want to be judged but we are both in relationships and so know from the outset that it is fun and we are not going to get married or anything. The thing is, he pushes all my buttons and makes me feel so good that i just cant wait to see him again. At the start he was contacting me a lot, emailing daily, telling me he missed me. Then gradually he left it 2 or 3 days before replying to my emails, but always did eventually telling me he had been busy.Anyway the first 2 times we met he was very nice, we didnt have sex but we did lots of other things and he always talked as if we would meet again. It was always hard to plan when next time would be due to his working pattern and I have always had to wait for him to let me know when he is available, due to work and his girlfriend being around.Recently he went away for a month and he couldnt email me, i got a text from him saying he missed me but that was all. In fact I did think he had forgotten about me or just couldnt be bothered as it seemed like it was fizzling out a bit. I knew his girlfriend was there with him making it hard aswell.But then he came home and emailed me suggesting he could meet me. So i met him 3 days ago. I felt something was different but he just kept telling me he was very tired and he did look shattered. At first i didnt think i could make it to meet him that day, but told him i was looking forward to seeing him again and would try my best. He replied and said i will understand if you cant come. I dont know what to make of that!So i did meet him and we got on very well, i liked him more than ever. He dropped into conversation how he had had 2 other girls while he was abroad. I thought this was a bit insensitive, but also maybe his way of saying that me and him are not going to be serious. We had sex, he said it was very good. I asked if he was happy and he said yes. He talked about meeting me again in general, but no firm plans, like he said maybe next week i can see you. As i was leaving we kissed for a while and i said i hoped i could see him again soon, he agreed. He blew me a kiss and waved goodbye to me. He said he would email when he knew what he was doing with work, but i have heard nothing in 3 days. I emailed him the next day to say i had a great night and hoped he did too. I also said how i was very happy and wanted to see him again soon. I know that he had a day off the next day, but still he didnt email, the day after that he was working so i know he couldnt have got in touch.I know i sound paranoid, but i read about all these men who see you as a conquest and now that we have had sex i am worried that its over.I could text him or email again but i really dont want him to think i am desperate. It is so hard just waiting and checking my email every day though!I dont want to be in a serious thing with him, but I dont want it to have just been one time either. I have been with guys who just want one thing and they are very very different afterwards. He wasnt. He still kissed me and chatted fine to me afterwards. Help!!
View related questions:
period, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe finally emailed me earlier and said how he felt good with me and wanted to meet soon. No mention of when but at least he contacted me. Does this seem hopeful or am I building my hopes up? What do you think, especially guys! I have not replied yet as I don't want to seem desperate. When should I reply and what should I put to keep him interested but on his toes?
A
female
reader, CupidGirl826  +, writes (1 September 2009):
I think with these things, it's all in the guy's court.
You just have to wait and see. If you notice he doesn't contact you back, it may be over.
If he does want to see you again, I'm sure he'll make contact again to keep you available.
But sometimes in any kind of relationship, if you notice the other person distancing, sometimes words don't need to be said that they're not longer interested.
Good Luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. I do see it as casual, but it is casual in the sense that i do want it to happen again.
He said he did aswell and so i suppose i want to know if he is going to be willing to see me again for long term fun.
If he had been distant after we slept together or just told me he didnt want to meet again then at least i would know, but he kissed me, chatted and joked with me for a while and said he would email when he knew what his plans were.
I have been with guys who make it very clear after sex that that was all they wanted. He didnt make it so clear that he didnt want to see me again.
Its only been 3 days, 2 of which he has been with his girlfriend and 1 of which he has been working. Am i stressing too early?
...............................
A
male
reader, galant  +, writes (1 September 2009):
 What I see from your story is that you are in love with this guy and will be more and more in love with him as you continue to see each other. I think you are over reacting and over analysing like many women have the tendency to. Take this relationship lightly as he is taking it. You seem to stress yourself a lot for nothing.
...............................
A
female
reader, CupidGirl826 +, writes (1 September 2009):
I've read your entire post. You said it perfectly in the beginning, "we are both in relationships and so know from the outset that it is fun and we are not going to get married or anything."
He was more attentive to you in the beginning because he wanted sex.
He's had sex with you (and apparently with other women and his girlfriend) so now he is less likely to "chase (call, text, e-mail, etc)."
This is a fling arrangement, and you're expecting too much.
I'm sure when he gets ready to come into town for work, you'll notice he will try to contact you a bit more frequently so when he gets there he can have some p*ssy.
Otherwise, he's too busy juggling his girlfriend, and looking for other flings in the cities he's in.
You mention this, "He dropped into conversation how he had had 2 other girls while he was abroad. I thought this was a bit INSENSITIVE." You're expecting way too much from this man. This is nothing more than booty call, stop stressing.
...............................
|
