A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im such a mess! I been single for 8 months i have a four yr old daughter. I have dated a few times, most of them losers but yet i have slept with them for some reason i can't seem to say no! I.don't wanna be this way!! I no im not confident and have very low self esteem i need to lose weight. I think most the men i meet only want to get in my underwear! I feel so lonely sometimes and would love.to meet someone but not having any luck! I don't have many friends and i have no one to tell all this too :-( i suffer depression also but am on medication, i just feel lost! And im sick of bein taken advantage of. Any advice would be greatly appreciated thanks x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2012): I agree with Cerberus. Nobody is taking advantage of you. You are using your body just as much as the guys are.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2012): "And im sick of bein taken advantage of."
First off you're not being taken advantage of you're giving yourself willingly to these guys even though you know that's all they want. They're doing nothing wrong at all, it's you that has to protect yourself.
"I feel so lonely sometimes and would love.to meet someone but not having any luck!" and you won't until you stop sleeping with guys at the drop of a hat. We don't date girls who act that way OP, we sleep them and throw them away because we don't respect girls who have no respect for themselves. I hate to break it to you OP but you're really messing with your future chances here too, a lot of us guys find it very hard to deal with a girl who has had such a low regard for her body that any douchebag can stick it in her, we can find it very difficult to see anything special about a girl who throws herself around. It might not be a nice thing but it's a real thing.
OP you sound like an ex of mine. She was very depressed, felt she had no friends and when she drank alcohol she went wild and slept with the first guy to pay attention to her. is that helping you or is it making you feel worse? Well if it's making you worse then just stop.
She's still like that and she's stuck like that OP, no guy will date her because they can't trust a girl who's that easy and can't control herself, she knows undateable the way she is but she's so desperate then for male company that she keeps hooking up with guys and letting them use her and so the cycle continues because this makes her ever more miserable.
It's easy OP, just stay away from men until you sort your head out, if alcohol is a big part of this find other things to do with your time instead of drinking and lastly, I hate to say this but it's something you need to consider, the longer you do this the more guys who are only going to see you as damaged/used goods and the longer this goes on the far less chance that even the nice guys will be able to handle what you've been doing. You'll have a future of using assholes or white knight creeps who want to save you but are just crazies.
Make your decision now OP, either sort yourself out or continue down this path of self-loathing and self-abuse because no one in their right mind purposely dopes things to hurt themselves over and over. If you don't stop now you'll wake up some day wondering why you're still alone and wondering why no guy wants anything more than sex from you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2012): Join a volunteer group in your community that stands for something you believe in (religious, humane treatment of animals, literacy, political, etc...) or join a group or class that does something you want to learn (arts n crafts, tending a garden, an exercise-related group, a healthy cooking class) and will help you take steps towards feeling better about yourself.
Not only will these things help you feel better about yourself, you will meet new people (men and women) who share your feelings about something. This common ground boosts the likelyhood that you will find someone interested in you (not just sex) to date, AND increases the chance that you will make some genuine friends.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (1 July 2012):
I meant *your* daughter.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (1 July 2012):
Sounds like it's time to focus on yourself! You know you have low self esteem and you need to lose weight. Go for it! I know the thought of it is overwhelming but do what you think will work best for you (no crash diets). You have to think "lifestyle change." So look around and do some research. Keeping track of calories on a calorie counter app on my phone keeps me on track.
Also, start getting involved in what you've been meaning to do. Whether it's going back to school, a craft, sport, painting...whatever it may be. Spend more time with her daughter, do activities that incorporate her.
You won't be happy until you're happy with yourself. You also won't find a nonloserish guy until you're happy with yourself and know what you deserve. Trust me on this. You will feel so much better about yourself and accomplished. It will only raise your self esteem, a guy can't make that happen. Good luck!
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