A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am currently in the U.S. Navy and have several things going on all at the same time. I have a girlfriend who is extremely upset with me. I've tried calling her and get no answer. The story is that, I went up to Dallas to see her for the weekend and made a mess of everything. For the two weeks prior I had been under a lot of stress with the legal battles that I am currently engaged in. Not to mention I get out in August and have to find work in a short period of time. When I went up to see her, I broght the stress with me. But what really stressed me out was that things seemed different with her. Every other time I went up to see her we slept in the same bed but this last time she made an excuse as to why not. That really through me for a loop. I then started shutting her out and screwed up the entire weekend by being "mopey" as she put it. She did ask what was wrong and every time I shut her out because I felt hurt and disappointed. Now, she called me a little while ago and said nothing. What should I do? Can I fix what I did? Can I win her back and how?
View related questions:
engaged, navy, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Kepi  +, writes (26 January 2009):
 Ok, the first thing is being 'mopey' hasn't screwed things up, but beating yourself up over it is most likely making it worse for both of you. We all like sharing our bed with our loved ones, but there are times when either one of the party will want a little space to themselves...... I've been just as guilty of this with my girlfriend when I have decided to sleep on the couch instead of going to bed with her....... no big issue.Talk to her, maybe she is going through the same stresses becasue she sees what you are going thru and feels helpless, don't be frightened to ask her thoughts on the matters, she might be glad of the chance to give advice, and as for the bed issue, stop worrying and see the situatin for what it is, no big issue... maybe even one day you will both be able to laff about it...... Us guys always disappear into our caves when we have to deal with things, women want to talk em thru... my g/f always asks permission to come join me in my cave when I go quiet, then drags me out and we can get on with things, maybe you can explain to her (your gf, not mine!!! :) ) why you appeared grumpy, explain it without laying blame on her, talk about "I" not "you"
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2009): Angel don’t blame the girl for not wanting to share a bed, woman react strangely to certain things, my boyfriend has been without a Job for the past month, his a white male in south Africa and its not easy to find a job with this whole BEE thing, and his been stressed very very stressed and feeling low about himself, and in away he has been pushing me away locking me out of his thoughts and not really sharing his troubles with me, and as a woman I thought (at first) what did I do wrong, why is he treating me like this, and I then started closing up towards him, which in turn made him more doubtful about himself, until he sat me down one night and told me how he feels about himself and that he thought I might see him as a useless man coz he doesn’t have a job (staying together have been together for 6 years) and I understood that its not me, he still has some doubts about himself but coz I know I can help him through this, I can stand by him with all the love I have in my heart, people react strangely when they don’t know what’s going on, open up to your girl, share your worries with her, as a girlfriend that will mean more to her than you know
Good luck and keep us posted
...............................
|
