A
female
age
30-35,
*l0ndii
writes:okay here it is .. basically me and my current boyfriend have been together (for two years on new years day..so comming up) ..around may i told him i wasn't in love with him any more ..after that i left,and did my own thing kinda ..and he said he was workin on change yada yada, and started seeing people .. and i've continued to keep seeing this one particular guy [sidebar;;..i met in the summer at a bar (typical) ..who basically we txted/chated all july.august..knew everything about eachother and thenn decided to hook up in september because we've already heard,decided we would be great together,even tho neither one of us could really remeber what one another looked at ..sounds so crazy.but i geuss..because conversations were fuckin great..endless..chemistry ect..and sincce we hooked up in september we've basically been hooking up at least twice a month since,talking everyday.. the part i didn't mention was.. also in september..me and my current boyfriend..decided to move back intogether ..so ive been doing this double thing for.. about five months now .. he knows ive cheated on him (current), with this guy ect .. but hes still stays ..our aniversary is comming up..and i dont even think i can say i love you.. that sounds so fucked up.. basically weve been living our lives together..ive been waking up to fall asleep.. i dont know what else to think besides.. pack whats mine,i have a place room mates and everything..who know whats been going on from the start..not that they support what ive been doin' but..they know that the one fucked up part is definatly having a bf. whle doing that [and i agree,im not saying what im doing is right, im just saying its too fuckin' good to stop,so one or the other right..and i havent been happy for a long time]should i go now, or stay until after our aniversary .. even tho i know its done..just the things he says sometimes, to me ..there's no trust .. theres nothing.. but how do i do it..because i feel like i should say few words at the end and write most details down ..because im afraid of his outbursts, kind of.but im afraid if i write it down, theres no way i can delete it..and hell just re-read it..i'm not in love with him, i have love for him.but i shouldnt stay when he deserves to have someone to be in love with him, and look at him the way he does me. its shamefull. im somewhat ashamed,but i've been so honest this whole time. thats why i have to go. and tell him the details,so he wont come back..but im afraid of what hell do if he knows just how much a lie the past few months of what we tried to make of our new life has basically been a life. okay.well any advice would be really good..
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008): You don't love him any more, but you love him as a friend. Your with another guy who excites you. At the moment, your cheating, your having an affair with two guys. Your boyfriend knows your unhappy, he knows he's not what you want. You tried, but it didn't work. He's not the guy for you. Finish this relationship, don't keep holding on to him until you find somebody better. He doesn't do it for you, that's not your fault, it's not his fault, he's just not right for you. Finish the relationship and leave him alone to find somebody to give him the love he deserves. At the moment your actions are shameful to you, and that's not good. You don't have to continue to live like this, just let the guy go.
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (24 December 2008):
 You are going to have to be honest and let him go. The longer you hold onto this fantasy that you are creating for him the more he is going to be hurt.
You were wrong in leading him on since you already wanted to be with the other guy. No good is going to come out of this relationship if it continues this way. He is going to soon resent you for what you have put him thru. You will feel guilty and you chance loosing the other guy.
If you can't bear this all you will have to write the letter and explain your feelings. Be sure to pack when he isn't there to prevent his outburst from keeping you there. The double thing as you call it isn't fair to either of the guys even though I suppose they both know. No one should ever have to share the woman they want and love. YOU ALONE made this bed and now you have to lie in it. The only fair and honorable thing to do is let him go so he can find someone who will love him the way they should.
You are so correct in that idea that he DESERVES to have someone who is in love with him. I just hope you know what you are doing and you don't find out you really LOVE HIM after you have told him you aren't IN LOVE with him and you leave.
All the water that has gone under the bridge could very well collapse the bridge. A bridge is no more sturdier than the foundation it's built upon. Tread the waters carefully and be prepared to JUMP if you have to. He may not do well at accepting your decision. Going from one man to the other and back again is from a HEART that is lonely(his)creating one that is filled with stone (yours).
Sorry to say but it was a bit of a heartless thing to do in giving him hope that you love him and that you wanted things to be work out.It's up to you to get this all worked out so he isn't hurt anymore. I do say that at least you seem concerned so I would think that your Heart of Stone, has been chisled by his love and you are a bit confused here. Tread the waters carefully and take time to make the final decision. It could possibly be the most important decision you will ever make.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
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