A
female
age
30-35,
*stc girl
writes:I have a beautiful guy in my life, I really do trust him and know he's not going to cheat or look at another girl. But i recently saw pictures (2 or 3) of him 1 year ago with his ex sitting on his lap with his hand on her butt. I was on the phone with him when i saw and screamed freaked out and wanted to barf. I just cant get it out of my head that he went far with her and at one point liked her very much. That pic is stuck in my head, i want advice on how to freaking get over it.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2010): If he has no sexual past before you, just ignore it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): as you said, it was in the past, and he is not cheating on you, so just forget it about it.the important thing is that you are now together, and the important time starts with you, not in the past.good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): I assume this was before you two got together? If it was WHILE you were together.. then go ahead and barf, I would too.. that's disgusting! But if it's before you got together, then I ALSO understand how you feel. The same thing happened to me.. it kind of imprinted in my mind and I couldn't stop obsessing over it. It was years ago now, but I came across the diary entry of it the other day.. and THIS girl was just his FRIEND at the time.. but they looked all physically cosy together and it planted the seed of doubt in my mind, if you know what I mean.Anyway, from experience I can tell you your energy's being wasted on this. I know how hard it is, being a woman, to not start obsessing about something like this and want to ask a million questions like:Do you think she's prettier than me?Did you love her as much as me?Do you ever think of her? etc etc.. and you tie your mind up in knots.My advice is just to put it to the back of your mind and move forward with your boyfriend. You have to accept that he's been intimate with other girls, but realise that he's now with YOU. You said he's a beautiful man who you completely trust, so that tells me you have nothing to worry about. But I wanted you to know what you're going through.. (even though they're irrational thoughts) are normal.Good luck and congratulations on finding yourself a beautiful man :)
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