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I said the only reason I danced with her was because I felt sorry for her... how do I fix this?

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Question - (23 November 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 24 November 2008)
A age 26-29, anonymous writes:

My friends and me went to a fancy school dance. One of my girl best friend (I think she likes me) she looked a disco ball. She ask me to dance (I did and she was awful). Long story short I talking to my friend and I said.

Friend: So you with dance "Sam" (not her real name) what's next marriage

Me: "Oh shut up the reason only why I danced with her cause I felt sorry for her. She barely looks like a girl"

Then I realize Sam over heard us. I think she was crying a bit. She didn't go to school yesterday or today. She send me a text that said we can't be friends anymore. What should I do?

View related questions: best friend, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008):

i think so. bad luck. i think dr pete's idea is good. if his idea don't work then i think it is over!!!!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008):

If you can't talk to her, write her a letter.

Don't expect to be friends with her any more but explain why you said it.

Do you know why you said it? Even though it might have been true, you said it because you cared more about what your friends think about you than how other people feel.

You made a really common mistake so don't beat yourself up about too much, just learn from it and remember that words can have a lot of power and can crush them and affect them for years to come.

Reassure her in the letter that what you said was totally unjustified and you were an insensitive idiot and there was no excuse for it. Tell her that she is a special, great girl and or you wouldn't have been friends in the first place. Leave the opportunity for her to contact you again if she wants, but like I say, don't expect anything from her as you may have just gone too far. But with a honest, apology that asks for nothing in response, she should at least eventually get over it and in time see that you did the right and decent thing by apologising properly.

All the best.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Sam came to school today. But she didn't even look at me. She even got her friend to tell that She doesn't want to be my friend anymore. When I tried to talk to her she gave me this look walked away. Is our friendship over?

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A female reader, Jizelle United Kingdom +, writes (23 November 2008):

Wow that was really harsh. Imagine yourself in that situation: a girl you really like dances with you, then you overhear her telling a friend that your ugly, and it was only because she feels sorry for you. After hearing that, is there anything she can do to make you feel better? Probably not.

All you can really do is apologise to this girl. but probably, you've lost a friend. Learn from this mistake, and treat girls like people in future.

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A female reader, aunty_rach United Kingdom +, writes (23 November 2008):

you need to stop being such an immature little dick. sorry that is harsh but she is suppose to be your friend and yet you are treating her like rubbish. i dont think you even deserve her friendship after you created a false impression and then slagged her off to your other friend. shame on you! there is nothing you can do except try and say sorry, but i doubt she will care and forgive you after the way you talked about her. she is better off without a "friend" like you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008):

you can do nothing. you made her dream stupid dreams of you 2 together. i really wouldn't blame her if she moves schools and good luck to her if she does. YOU have lost a friend you have to deal with it!!! There was no need to say that!!! say sorry but i doubt it'll help.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008):

sorry but that was mean..=.= alright you're not attracted to her..but that wasn't a reason to say something like that..yeah your friend quite annoyed you by saying that..but that's not a reason!!!!go and apologize to her!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008):

Dude that was harsh on so many levels. Your friend should be mad at you. Also say sorry to her.

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