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I respect my girlfriend's wishes of no sex before marriage but I need to find a way of relieving myself of sexual frustration. Any advice?

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 September 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 28 September 2008)
A male India age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi, I'm 25, male, virgin, in a very serious relationship since the last 5 yrs. My girlfriend and I will definitely be getting married in about 2-3 years. We have been intimate with each other on many occasions but never had intercourse. Further we live in different cities and meet barely 10 days a year! While I believe its ok to have pre-marital sex with someone I am sure to marry, she believes that sex must wait until marriage. This is also largely based on our religious and social beliefs though she is very modern. Besides she is a great girl and I respect her for her views. Unfortunately I do feel frustrated at times and really want to have sex. I don't think it should be such a big deal in this time and date. What do I do to relieve myself of this frustration and these stupid confusing feelings? Thanks a lot for your advice.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2008):

Hi,

Im the guy who posted this question. Thanks a lot for your answers.

I do masturbate quite frequently. Unfortunately its not enough. In fact sometimes while im masturbating I feel a stronger urge for sex....thats expected i know :-)

Anyways, I guess its going to have to be a solo dance until marriage....

Cheers.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2008):

One word... Porn, and lots of it.

Masturbation usually does the job, ableit only for a short amount of time.

Flynn 24

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2008):

Hi,

Im the guy who posted this question. Thanks a lot for your answer.

I would like to clarify a small point here. I guess it was my mistake when typing the question originally - When I stated my views on pre-marital sex it was my own personal opinion. An opinion NOT influenced by my religion. Anyways, I don't think any religion promotes sex without marriage.

I thank you for your insightful answer & encouragement. :-)

Regards.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008):

Well, for starters, it's good that you and your wife to be are still virgins. This is something in this day and age that isn't too common. As a Christian, I applaud you.

However, as a person with religious beliefs, I also must tell you that your views on premarital sex are misguided. I am not sure of your religious beliefs so I can't give you direct advice on that subject. But I can share in my religious with you if that's okay.

My beliefs state that premarital sex (fornication) is indeed a sin. The only way to avoid this sin is to marry. This does not mean because you are scheduled or planning to marry a person that you can have sex with them before this date. What if something happens before the wedding? What if you don't get married? Then you would have committed a sin and this is to be avoided.

Immerse yourself in your studies and seek your God. He will keep you chaste in these hard times until the day comes that you will be able to make love to your "wife". But until then, you must not do anything to cause sin to come to you or your wife to be. Think about it, if you care about your girlfriend as much as you state, you would not want to do anything to bring her harm - ever. Causing her to sin is bringing harm to her and you.

You can do it. You've gone this long - you CAN make it. Focus on your relationship with God and doing the things he will have you to do. Have faith in your God and he will bring you through.

Take care.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008):

well im in the same exact situation just wait dont worry you should be grateful of your situation your in you got a special girl dont destroy what you got because of sex do what guys do in private.....lol

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