A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have 2 children with my man of 12 years. I have given his brother alot of money and he has never paid me back, he has never told me sorry, and he doesn't come around me at all right now. This is more than $250,000.00 - and I am crushed. It has been so hard on our relationship and we constantly fight about it. I can't even hear his brothers name without going into a tailspin. I can't sleep at night without having beer or wine. This was 13 years ago when I gave him the money. Now he is about to file bankruptcy and I will never get that money back. It is so hard to stay with my man, but I do it for the childrens sake. I love him, he is the most wonderful father, always there for the kids and me. It is so hard to forgive and forget about his brother though. It eats my insides up. I do not go to any family get together's at his parents house because of his brother. I had to watch him buy boats, motorcycles, houses, spend $20-40,000 at gambling casinos,etc... through the years. All the while, my man is telling me he will pay me back, "He is my brother". And....... Nothing..NadaI feel that he took the money from me and my children, his nephews, and he has never even said sorry. I don't know what to do. I am trying to come out of this deep depression that I got into - but it is hard, so hard. I have been on Prozac, Paxill, etc... I have been to countless therapists and I can not let it go. I am in a lawsuit with him now - but it won't matter. He will just say he doesn't have it and move on, and live his life. Why have I given up on my life and he just goes through his life like nothing ever happened? How can someone be so callous and mean and greedy?? I just want to love my man, but the brother is in the way. Help.....
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 April 2010):
 Money is just money. And family is family. You are under no obligation to give or lend money to anyone, even if they are in your family. Let go of the money - it can always be replaced. You are in a much better position, for you can earn your money and live off of the work of your hands, while your man's brother is a pathetic loser who must leech off off his family, taking advantage and still coming out a big heel. He has no life to live, while you on the other hand do.But you *need* to learn the word "no". No to your man's brother, and no to your man. You are not a bank, nor are you obligated to just hand over a quarter of a million dollars simply because he happens to be related.You have to let the money go. You have to let the justice and the principle go. For your own health. But whatever you do, NEVER give him another penny, and make it clear that your man is not to do it either.
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