A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone:) Thanks in advance for reading this. I am dating this guy sort of, it has been 6 months about. He really pursued me hard, and I had let him know that I was not looking for a bf. I had been through a lot and didn't feel I was in the right place to have a successful relationship. Well needless to say we really liked each other and would spend time hanging out, and we became attached.Well time passes and we get into a lot of arguements over nothing, and I honestly think it is because things are so complicated. We have no title for each other, we just are. Due to this he says he didn't know how he is supposed to act towards me, and says he still did right by me because he hasn't done anything with other females.There was a point I got mad because I felt like he was really into me, but in a way I felt like a guy friend. For example when we would go up we would split the cost all of the time. I started to think he gave up on the idea of us being together, because he obviously wasn't trying to impress me much. He also never invited me out with him...anyways I felt it wasn't my place to say anytihng because im not his gf but one day I exploded and it all came out. I asked why hes cheap, why im not invited anywhere. He let me know that he was confused about our status and hes not really comfortable with the situation. He says he wishes things started off differently but I rejected him, and it caused the relationship to become what it is.I started to doubt his feelings for me, when it is kind of my fault things are this way to begin with. I started feeling jealous, would accuse him of being disrespectful. I feel so much insecurity towards him and its odd. I have to stop myself because theres really no good reason for it. This behavior caused the past 2 weeks to be horrible, us avoiding each other, saying crappy things. Well friday he randomly told me he was around the corner and came over. He spent the night, and saturday we got in an arguement as he was driving me back from a family event. I told him that I was through with always arguing and Id rather be alone than always argue. He really calmed down and then he surprised me by driving to this park in a city I have never been to, downtown. He wanted to sit with me, and then asked me to go out with him. He started telling me how pretty I was, and that he didn't mean to yell, but he was trying to make me understand how he felt. He said it was built up tension and stuff from how the past couple weeks have been between us.I then said ok well, I don't know what to think. We are basically FWB now, and its akward as I had never planned that. He then said but you never wanted a bf, how was i supposed to react? I didn't want to just let you go. He then said he also isn't in a place right now to have a gf. He may be making some big changes, getting into real estate, working on bettering his life, and we also live in diff cities (45 min away). I can't help but think, if he was really into me would that even matter? Shouldn't I be an addition to all of that positive change? He said he wants things to work with me but he doesn't want to be a liar and promise me anything. He sends so many mixed messages. He then told me all of the things hes trying to change, are for me so I can live stress free with him. He said he wants to provide for his woman. I really like this guy, I really do but I am so insecure with the way things are. And its kind of weird because I am the one that kind of made it this way in the beginning. If I didn't reject him twice I wouldn't have to deal with this. Please men and women that are more experienced let me know...what do you think this guy really wants? He spends all his free time with me literally, always calls me precious, beautiful, but he can't even make a simple commitment.The weird part is he wanted to make that commitment within a few weeks of knowing me. I want som clarity because I need to better myself, and if this is going nowhere I have to let it go as hard as it may be. Oh yea and don't say have a talk with him, everytime I do that it ends up in him shutting down. Then telling me how much he cares for me and how I don't want a bf anyways. His actions are great its jus t he can't express himself...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2011): He doesn't trust you with his heart anymore. You burned him twice. Why should he trust you?
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