A
female
age
30-35,
*harmzx5
writes:Lately my mom been saying i smoke weed so she took me to take a drug test and the results came out negative i was happy because i proved my point to her and on the other hand i was upset because i feel my mother should believe her daugther's words.I figured due to the fact my mother accused me of doing drugs mightest well do it... in my mind i was like no i can't do drugs. My mother also thought i was failing in school and when i showed her i had 100% and 90% she was like you are improving yet i always had no lower then a 90%. I got upset that my mother kept thinking stuff that wasn't true so two boys that i know was like "hey" i replied back "hey guys" and they said "you want to smoke i replied "no" walking down the stairs with the newest sknears, my hair blown out, and a nice brand new outfit that cost a lot i was geting ready to leave the school to go home and the boys grabbed me and was like come on smoke with us you looked stressed so we all chipped in $ and spent about $20 on weed... i couldn't believe i actually wanted to smoke!I smoked and we were all joking around and i was sitting on a bed with one of the boys and across from me was another boy. we were all smoking, when smoking i felt as if i was in another world time was passing quick and i couldn't feel noting only sometimes i felt a hand around my waist feeling on my stomach i pushed it off me because i have a boyfriend whom i like very much and whom im faithful to. i moved away from the boy touching my waist, the boy who was sitting across left the room and he threw him a condom thinking i didn't see, i moved away again saying in my head "this is not going to happen to me please not me god please help" the boy moved closer and grabbed my ass and i said "STOP IM HIGH IM NOT BLIND KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOUR SELF IM LEAVEN" I grabbed my stuff and left, the boy chased me and said wait for me im going to walk you, i tried rushing out the building but he caught up and said you want me to walk you to the bus so you can go home i replied "NO!!!" and kept walking and he said "good i don't want to any ways" in my mind i said good no one wants you to walk me to the bus stop you try to take advange and rape me because i was smoking. i walked to the bus stop i felt as if i was a child left with no one to trust, what should i do im abandon on a society that couldn't care less if i die today? i wished i had someones sholder to cry on :'( My boyfriend doesn't even know, all he knows was that i smoked with two boys and he said if i do it again then he won't talk to me for a long time and he said for every time i smoke he would smoke four times of what i did because "maybe then i would realize how it hurts to see one you love put their life at risk" that is what he told me... my mother thinks he is a bad boyfriend due to the fact he is not ready to meet her because he is shy... im counfused about a life as a 15 in a half year old girly girl model :'(
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