A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:This is a weird situation - but years ago I lived in London (late 80s/early 90s). I was in my late teens and very emotionally immature at the time as I had never been in a relationship before. One evening at a gig I met a nice blond guy called Simon who I went on a date with afterwards. He was nice but I wasn't really ready for a relationship and was too embarrassed to tell him so. A week or two later I ended up with flu and he rang wanting to see me again - I told him I had flu (which was true) and would get back to him. Unfortunately I never did ring him back and we went our separate ways.Now you may think this odd, but for years now, I really regret not telling him that I actually liked him but that I was just not ready for a relationship. I can't remember his surname or phone number after all this time - but I always feel sad that we just drifted apart without a real explanation. I know this probably happens to dozens of people, every week of the year - but how do I get over this feeling of sadness that I just disappeared out of his life with no real explanation?Simon if you're still out there - Sorry!!
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 March 2018):
 We all have someone in our past that we met at a time where we weren't ready for more or for that person. It happens. I think most people have that ONE person in their past that has become something more than they really were, in our minds and over time.
All you can really do is wish him well when he pops into your head and then move on with your daily life.
Having said goodbye or not is irrelevant 30 years later. And I think you need to stop with the self-punishment for how you acted with him.
OK back then you were a teen with little to NO experience in interaction with boys and you made the choice to just back away instead of telling him how you really felt.
Pretty sure if he still remembers you he doesn't blame you or dislike you for it. It was ONE date! 30 years ago.
If you keep looking over your shoulder to the past while beating yourself up, you will miss out on WHAT's right in front of you now.
It's OK.
A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (4 March 2018):
 Please don't linger and dwell over the past - you're likely to miss a golden opportunity in the present. If you're always looking behind you, you cannot see what is directly in front of you. I firmly believe if it was meant to be...
Take care xxx
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie +, writes (4 March 2018):
Please don't linger and dwell over the past - you're likely to miss a golden opportunity in the present. If you're always looking behind you, you cannot see what is directly in front of you. I firmly believe if it was meant to be...
Take care xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2018): Hey, sometimes old-memories or regrets just linger-on. However; it is immature and unhealthy to obsess over them. It wasn't meant to be, and saying good-bye wouldn't have necessarily changed the outcome of things. He never bothered to contact you thereafter; so it apparently doesn't bother him as much as it may bother you.
You have to keep a handle on sentimentality. It can diminish the quality of life or hinder present relationships. If you're alone or in a problematic-relationship; sometimes ruminations and old-memories haunt or take-hold, because the mind needs something better to focus your attention on.
Distract yourself from saddening thoughts of past-events. It's gone with the late 80's/early 90's. It's best to hold-on to our good memories not the bad-ones anyway!
"An idle-mind is the devil's workshop!" Maybe it is time to get out there and make some new friends, have some romance, and forge some new memories!
I assure you, Simon has moved-on and probably never gave it another thought. Don't allow fantasies from the past or your youth to steal your joy!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2018): Yes - many people meet people when the timing is wrong ! That’s why there is that saying timing is all - if it had been meant to be it would have been. Live in the moment and learn to take like slower and so it does not happen again that you regret making effort / nurturing a relationship. Life is complicate, people are not robots - don’t look back any longer, and get on with enjoying all the new people your to meet in the future.
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