A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Last year i broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years and i think ive made a mistake in doing so. the reason i broke up with him is because 1 night i was walking home with my boyfriends best friend who lives on the way after a night out. when i reached my house my bfs friend asked me to come up to his house for a few drinks as well as other things, i said no and then he started to kiss me, i pulled away and went into my house. after that he text me and i told him it wasnt right and to not text me again. after i couldnt face to tell my boyfriend what had happened as i thought he wouldnt believe me so i broke ot of with him as i couldnt stand the guilt. I realised a few months later that i had made a mistake but my ex now constantly hangs around with his so called best friend and there going to australia together in july. he has also changed him for the worst. If i tell him the truth it will look like im just trying to stop him from going. what do i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all your responses i really appreciate it, im just going to move on and let him have a better life by going to australia, maybe down the line he will realise what way his friend is although i think he already knows but he is just brain washed by him. Thanks again. O and to cerberus i didnt let his friend kiss me i pushed him away when he tried to do so, i was in a vurnerable place and he tried to take advantage. simple as. My ex is a great fella and i thought i was doing the right thing at the time.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2012): Good choice OP, but as you said if we knew his friend then we'd know he's like that, and if he's your exes best friend then he knows better than anyone what he's like.
Your ex too made his bed, so let him lie in it.
Move on and be happy OP, if this guy wants to be friends with a douche who he knows is not trustworthy, then that's no longer your problem. Plenty of other guys out there that have good loyal friends, no point in wasting anymore time or thought on this guy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2012): well firstly i said i wasnt going to tell him and secondly if u knew his friend u wud no its not the first time his done something like dis to his friends. i agree with you when you say it would be spiteful if i told him thats why im not going to.
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A
female
reader, tiamaria12  +, writes (31 January 2012):
Hi,
I think your ex boyfriend deserves to know the truth and you should have at least have the decency and guts to tell him. Them leave him alone to make up his own mind on what he wants to do you owe it to him, after that he will have a clearer picture of his so called best friend, what he decides to do from them on is his choice but at least you've partly put things right by giving him the facts, then you can move on with a clearer conscience than if you if you dont tell him anything at all. He may mot thank
you now but I'm sure he will in the future and will respect you for that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2012): It was a year ago OP, he's moved on and so should you. It's really none of your business what he does with his time now.
You had your chance to tell him last year when all this happened but you didn't have the balls to. You could have sorted all this out OP but you didn't, you dumped him instead and ran away. You've made your bed, now you have to lie on it and it would be very unfair for you to now throw this stuff into the mix and ruin his plans.
If his friend is that much of a douche he'll learn eventually.
The selfish thing to do would be to tell him, I know people might tell you to tell him but what purpose would that serve? It took you months to figure out it was a mistake and in all that time he was heart broken after being dumped, he finally now is getting his life back on track and you're thinking of throwing a spanner in the works? Don't, the best you can do is leave him alone and move on.
Not only does he deserve a girlfriend who doesn't let other guys kiss her but will also have to balls to stand up to her mistakes and fight for him. You didn't, you just ran away. This doesn't make you a bad person, we all make mistakes and the best of us learn from those, running away never solved anything so next time you mess up, stand up and face it directly.
Let this guy go, let him move on and build a new life for himself. Maybe is friend just made a mistake too and got caught in the moment with you, perhaps he's learned from that too.
This is one is one you should chalk down as a bunch of lessons learned OP and move on. It really will do you nor him any good to start messing with him now. You had a year to tell him all this, why now? It will very much sound like a spiteful, jealous ex trying to mess with his head because it makes no sense that you would all of sudden decide to tell him just when he's about to head away and make a new life for himself.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2012): Unfortunately nothing you can do.
You chose to break up with your ex rather than trust him to do the right thing for you and him by telling the truth about his so-called "friend" as soon as it happened.
You may regret breaking up with him now but if I were him and knew the whole story I wouldn't regret your breaking up with me knowing you thought so little of me that you couldn't have been honest from the start.
Actions have consequences, you chose to break up with him for no reason when he did nothing wrong, why would he be foolish enough to consider taking you back or even believe your accusations against his friend? In his eyes you'd have no credibility even though you'd be telling him the factual truth long after the fact.
You chose to hurt your ex by keeping quiet then, don't hurt him more by opening your mouth now, will only cause him more unnecessary anguish and you've caused him enoough pain as it is.
I'm sorry you're ex's friend was such a jerk, but I'm sorrier for your ex since you decided to make him the one to suffer in silence for his friend's bad behavior.
Don't be a complete jerk like his friend and spoil ex's trip to Australia before it happens. Not his fault he doesn't know "friend" is the one he should be getting away from, not you.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (31 January 2012):
 Forget your ex-B/F... and that cad with whom he's travelling to Australia.... and get on with your life. Who needs THEM?????
Good luck...
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