| A
female
,
*ove bug
writes: Me and my boyfriend broke up beacsue I thought it would be awkward with me going to a college far away and I thought i wouldnt see him anymore so we decided to break up I no its crazy because I still really love him but hes moved on and is supposedly gettin with someone else now anyway I felt he should no everything so I told him I still loved him but now he doesnt believe me because it was kinda me who broke it off in the first place, i no hes the only one for me and its like sole mates or something anyway ive told him that i will prove to him how much I love beacause its the only way he'll believe me...but i dont no how its gota be something big but please help me win him back!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2006): Don't propose to him, and don't try to spend a weekend with him! In fact, don't write to him, either.
He knows you both had good times together. Don't you think that when you told him, you loved him and let him know you'd made a mistake in dumping him, that if he wanted to get back with you he would have?
No use trying to tell him not to get involved with the girl he's now dating. Fact is, he IS involved with her, and, sorry to say, especially since you were the one to end it, it is no longer any of your business who he dates -or does not date. And, by the same token, you are free to move on. Which would be a good idea. I'm not saying you should rush out and try to meet someone else. You can think about this experience and learn from it.
Finally, you have done all you could already to win him back. Now its time to leave it alone!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2006): If you thought you were soul mates then why did you break up with him in the first place?
It sounds like it only became a problem when he got with someone else - and why wouldn't he - you broke up with him remember.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2006): The first important issue is that you're
ignoring all the important signs your ex is
giving you.
Please don't be naive...
Wake up!
Realize what's going on here.
If he's dating someone else, you've got to
start moving on.
He doesn't share your feelings of wanting to
back together.
If you challenge this idea, you need to recognize
that he's not in the right place in his life to
share what you want with him.
This doesn't mean you should to go out and
try to date right now, but you need to take your
mind off him.
This is hard for a woman when you still have
feelings for him.... but you're setting yourself
up for ALL KINDS of pain and disappointment.
Yeah, I've seen couples get back together
like this... but the odds are things don't look
good for this old relationship.
The more you can distance yourself from your ex
whose dating another woman, the happier you'll be.
Trust me.
And I know doing this is tough, but you've got to.
If you listen to the signals your ex is sending
you, you'll see that his "feelings" are just his way
of holding onto you for his own comfort.
He's already dating another woman.
That should give you a clear idea of where his
mind is at (not focused on getting back with you) and
what his "feelings" TRULY are.
Here's what I want you to do first and foremost....
Think about making some decisions for YOURSELF.
Right now it sounds like your waiting for him to
make all the decisions.
Think about what YOU WANT to be happy, and remember
all the things your ex has done and said to let you
know he's not committed to sharing his love with you.
If you give him and yourself some space, a funny
thing might happen you won't expect....
Your ex-boyfriend won't have the comfort of two
women who both want his affection.
He won't know that you're still there waiting for
him - and this will trigger thoughts and actions in him
that will ultimately help resolve your situation.
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A
female
reader, Helen1986  +, writes (6 October 2006):
 I think that you should tell him not to get involved with this other girl until he knows what he really wants, as it is unfair to lead her on if it is you he really wants to be with. I then think that you should spend a whole weekend together or something so you can sort your relationship out.
I hope it does work out for you hunny.
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A
female
reader, Katylouise +, writes (6 October 2006):
Im sorry to hear whats happened but dont blame yourself, You made a very grown up mature decision to set him free and you did that because you loved him and he might not be able to see that at the moment but some day he will. No matter what anyone says on here wont necessarily win him back for you. You could try writing your feelings down on paper and giving it to him or you could propose if you think that could show him how serious you are? Remind him of the good times you had together make him laugh thats the important thing keep whatever you say relaxed and clear and simple.
Good luck gal
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