A
male
age
41-50,
*amble-on
writes:This topic has been discussed in several questions, and I guess I am looking for input from others who have been in the same boat.I recently had sex with my first cousin - someone who I've always thought was attractive and only see every 4-5 years at the most. I always sensed she felt the same, and at an event not long ago (of course, after numerous drinks), we remained as flirty as ever, and I made a move. There was no hesitation, and it was frankly the best sex I've had in a long time.I talked with her for a long time last night, which felt very good. Neither of us regret it (again, it was awesome), we're both adults (late 20's and 30), but to pretend like there's no weirdness to it whatsoever would be foolish.I have always been an emotionally healthy person, but the last few months prior to this event have been very difficult personally. As such, I'm more vulnerable to the "what others might think" factor and traces of dogmatic guilt seem to rearing themselves, (I thought I'd successfully shed that years ago).A question such as "how should I feel about this?" would be ridiculous, as we're all different. There are only a few people in my life in whom I could confide such a secret. I'm most concerned, however, with how I'll feel as time goes on and become involved in relationships. I tend to be a relatively open book when it comes to relationships. But this is one of those things I don't think I'd ever bring up as a, "Well, one time I..." story. So if you've ever been in a situation like this (even just "secrets" in general, as well as others who've had sexual daliances with cousins) - how have you handled it personally and in relationships as time goes on?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2008): I'm a 36 y.o. man and I have an ongoing sexual relationship with my younger cousin (28) but it's infrequent; maybe twice a year we'll hook up. There is another one who's now 24 but two years ago for about 8 months we had really passionate sex. With the older one we joke that because we're cousins it's not really cheating on my wife/her fiance. The other one it got pretty involved though; she was in a vulnerable place from her pretty abusive ex-boyfriend and was abusing drugs and alcohol and although her sex was pretty wild it wasn't nearly as physically painful as what she'd been through with him. She needed some love, and we have that still. It was kind of weird at her wedding I was a little jealous.
A
female
reader, thumpa  +, writes (14 July 2008):
a female reader. I understand where you are comeing from.myself and my first cousin are in are 30's and 20's we have not been raised as close cousins at all as we live in differant parts of england and do not see each other as much as we like. but we are both alike in many ways he is my best mate i can tell him anything that i cannot any friend or family he is the only person who will tell me something straight. If i want to hear the truth or not. We have been in contact a lot with each other and have a mutual attraction for each other we have been having a lot off phone and text sex which has been great. We have allready talked about when we will sleep with each other when we meet up together it will be are first time together. We have talked about the complications like if family find out how will they react and so on. But it still hard in reallaty about how these situations pan out. But i do have very strong feeling for my cousin and i have to say the elemant of danger in what we are doing is a big turn on . But i dont know what the law is in your country but hear in england you can marry your first cousin . Well if its good enough for the royals its good enough with us.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008): Well, this is one of those things that I'd classify in the "unwise" category, a little bit worse than having sex with people you work with. If you and your cousin have a relationship and there are hard feelings at the end, family gatherings are going to be much less fun for everyone, especially if other family members are let into the secret.
Is it incest? Well, not horribly so but personally I'd be all grossed out to think of one of my own cousins, fine people as they all are. From my reading of American fiction from the 1700s and 1800s, it seems that in old times in the U.S. it was not unusual, and even common, for people to marry their first cousins.
Good luck, hope noone gets hurt.
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A
male
reader, ramble-on +, writes (15 June 2008):
ramble-on is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPerhaps 'anonymous' misinterpreted my question as a plea for nonsensical judgment statements. To answer anon's question, no, it's not illegal in the state where it took place (yet, living with a boy/girlfriend before marriage IS). Nonetheless, thanks to 'anon' for knowing better and trying to heap shame into the mix.
Oh, and an update, I talked to my cousin again last night, and we had terrific phone sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): First cousins? isnt that illegal?
You are both adults, and should know better.
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