A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years and we love each other very much. I recently found out that I was pregnant and now he thinks we should get married but I don't think I'm ready to get married. I don't think I ever want to get married and I can see how much this hurts him. Any advice on what I should do? Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Carrie216 +, writes (29 July 2008):
Well, if he only wants to marry you because of the baby, then I'd say don't marry if that's the only reason. You guys love each other, so there's another reason of course. But if you really aren't ready for marriage don't just jump into it because of the pregnancy.
Explain to him that you aren't ready for marriage. If he truly loves you, he'll understand.
From what I know, marriage is final and binding and special. You shouldn't dive into it without consideration. That's one of the reasons there are so many divorces to be perfectly honest. Be completely sure, just like with anything in life.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (29 July 2008):
If you find yourself unable to make a permanent commitment in good conscience, then you should certainly NOT get married. It would be a terrible thing to do, to get married just to make your boyfriend feel better or "for the sake of the child". Marriage is something you should only get into if you are really ready for that step and can take it in good faith. That's obviously not the case.
Never say never. Keep your mind open about what you might want to do in the future, because you never can tell what may come along to change your mind. But for now, you should avoid marriage. Just let your boyfriend know that although you love him and are committed to him, you are just not ready for marriage and cannot do something that serious when you are not ready for it. In the end he'll understand.
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