A
male
age
30-35,
*laderade16
writes:Hello, I am a 17 year old gay male and live in a small town in Saskatchewan. I came out when I was 15 and all I've been able to think about is how happy it would make me to have a boy as my grad escort.But as I said, I live in a small town, and small town people are very small-minded and stuck in their ways. My town has 4 churches and only 2 grocery stores. 4 churches and 1 school. 4 churches and 2 banks...shall I go on? The town is so religious, I honestly have no idea how anyone would react to me leaving the stage with my arm linked to another boy? A lot of my friends have told me to just not "stir the shit" and just take a girl but I don't think thats right! I think I should have the same right as everyone else...I've got a boy who I want to take...and if we break up before my grad (in like 9 months from now) then I really don't have to worry about it because I don't wanna take someone that I haven't been with for very long...but if I am still with him, I want to take him. My parents are "ok" with me being gay but kind of uncomfortable with it, I'm not sure how they would react if I asked to take a boy. My sister is supportive but even her long term boyfriend of 7 years says to take a girl. My town is so small that my graduating class is made up of 3 people, including myself. One of my fellow grads is REALLY homophobic so he might throw a fit...I'm honestly scared I'll get boo'd off the stage if I bring a boy but I really want to!Should I not stir the shit, or should I go with my heart?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010): Hi I'm the OP. Our grad ceremies require the grads to hav an escort for our grand march. Family comes from near and far, it's a huge affair here. The whole town will be attending. We wear tuxes, sit on stage, go thru an hr+ long ceremony then walk off stage with out escorts and do a grand march.
Our first dance is between grad and escort.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (28 September 2010):
 you need to think about wether you need to bring someone at all? why do you have to have a date at graduation? is it some kind of dance or is it where you get your high school diploma?
i am confused
if you dont want to bring a girl dont bring one
if this guy is still around just ask him if HE wants to come, not your family etc. only the two of you need to be involved in something the two of you are doing
dont ask others just do what is right for you and your man
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A
female
reader, babii_boo24  +, writes (26 September 2010):
 i think you should go with your heart! dont pay attention to what everyone else thinks or will think. who cares is you stir the shit. if its as small of a town as you say it is you most likely wont being staying there. so i really dont think it should matter to others who you bring as your escort!
looove miranda?
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A
female
reader, DenimandLace44 +, writes (25 September 2010):
 I dont know what it would be like to be the one fighting for my rights. I have the easier road. I have friends that are gay and I love them and respect them. So as i said, selfish is not the right word. I was only trying to say that others are going to be affected. Others that this will be their only high school graduation too. That having been said, I understand the only way change will ever come is if we change...and bringing about change is never the easy road in life is it?
So poster, I would say, think about it long and hard. But in the end do what you feel you must. Be considerate of others but not to the extent of doing something you cannot live with. You need to be able to look in the mirror and be happy with what and who you see there. There are some things that you have to fight for, some battles to fight. Only you can decide if this is one of them. good luck, believe it or not, I am on your side.
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reader, Universe Man +, writes (25 September 2010):
The world needs people who stir the shit. Just the other day I saw a cross-dressing man in a neon pink wig in my city. I live in a fairly large city (Tampa, Florida), but this is still quite an unusual sight here. I personally am a little perplexed and even a little turned off by the sight of someone like that, but I'm thankful that he's doing what he's doing, you know why? Cause he's stirring the shit. Some homophobic asshole is going to have to deal with seeing that, and that is a good thing.On the other hand, he's making his life harder than it otherwise would be. Someone is going to look at him and hate him. Maybe shout some insult at him. Maybe throw their milkshake at him from a moving car. Maybe even beat him up.I disagree completely with anonymous. To display your homosexuality is the opposite of selfishness. It will invite scorn and insult. But it will advance the cause and get homophobes one step closer to understanding that they are the ones living in your world, not the other way around. And if you link arms with a man and someone makes a stink about it, then that means you think this is "just about you"?? Hell, no. Quite the opposite. It means that person thinks it's just about them and their values. You are not imposing yourself on anyone.So the question is, do you want to do the thing that is difficult, but obviously more progressive, or do the thing that is easy, but does nothing to advance your cause? Neither choice is right or wrong.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2010): Maybe selfish was a poor choice of words. I apoloqize for the offense.
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reader, C. Grant +, writes (25 September 2010):
 "I think I should have the same right as everyone else."
That's true, of course. But it took the gay community in Toronto (and New York and L.A.) years to get to that point. Lots of persecution, lots of discrimination, and more than a few physical assaults. It's not pretty, but it's the truth.
Outer-nada, Sask. is where Toronto was 50 years ago. That's the reality you're living in. To assert your rights will come at a cost. You've enumerated some of those costs -- being boo'd off the stage could be the least of them. Think it through. Then in the cold light of day do what you think is right.
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reader, WhateverMovesThee +, writes (25 September 2010):
 Your heart is in a good place. You're comfortable with who you are and you want to be able to enjoy the same rights as heterosexuals which is only fair. I have many homosexual friends and it breaks my heart when I hear about the troubles they have sometimes. I used to live in a place where being homosexual guaranteed you beatings or worse...no one "came out" but if you were suspected, some people were cruel/evil. Ask yourself: if I take a date, can I handle being booed? Handle my classmate throwing a fit? Can my date handle it? Is he willing to go through it with me if theres a chance it'll go bad? How will my family react? Can they/will they stand by me? How do I want to remember this event? Will my date be hurt if I take a girl? I won't tell you what to do, but think these questions through to make a decision.
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reader, Bladerade16 +, writes (25 September 2010):
Bladerade16 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPerhaps you are right on a few of your points but saying I'm selfish really hurts me.
And I know that going with a girl wouldnt have to mean we were dating, and I hav girl friends that would do it, I just feel like I'm betraying myself.
Walking alone is not an option, we have to walk with a partner to complete the grand march.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2010): There are a lot of things in life that you have to do to keep the peace. I am not saying that you do not have a right to your lifestyle, but I do think for the sake of peace that you should go with the flow on this one. My reasons are 1) this is not just about you. It is a day that all three of you have worked very hard to reach. If you take your male friend this day will become about gay rights. The focus will be on you, and your agenda. I dont think this is the time or the place. 2) If you arent comfortable walking with a girl...if you feel that it would be betraying who you are, walk alone for that one night. 3)Again this is not just about you and your feelings. Your family will be in the spotlight, your school..your teachers. It will pit people who are friends against one another. I think you can go thru the ceremony the traditional way, and at the after graduation parties, be accompanied by whomever you wish to be your date. Since I am not gay, I am not pretending that I have the answer..Its just my opinion. I would feel the same if it were any other issue against the traditions of the school. I just think that there will be plenty of time to make a statement without involving your graduation. In the states, in my area anyway, who you walk with is not automatically who you are dating. It may be who you look good with, height compatabilities, or whatever. It may be friends or even cousins. Not assumed couples. I just think it would be selfish on your part to insist on it.
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