A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I realy like this new guy I'm seeing but I think he might be having an affair with his friend's wife. He talks to her and emails her more than he talks to me and when he says he is going to thier house he says her name not her husbands who he knew first and works with. He even talks to her about sexual stuff on the phone right in front of me. He asked her if she was gonna let her husband get some that night. This upset me and I found it inappropriate. I'm tired of him talking about her and her calling him they even say I love you when they hang up the phone. I'm afraid to tell him how I feel what if they're just really close friends? Should I tell him it bothers me? Are they having an affair? Someone please help give me input.Thanx
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male
reader, Paladin +, writes (11 March 2008):
 Anyone here telling you they are having an affair would just be guessing. The fact that they are as open about it as they are would lead me to believe they are just very close friends. Could that get out of control someday, perhaps but that would just be speculative. I would think that if he was truly out of line her husband would be concerned and you didn't mention much about him. The fact that he says he loves her may or may not be a concern. I think you would be better to take things a little slow here and see what happens. He may be just one of those overly outgoing people and you like many people may not be comfortable with that type of person.
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (11 March 2008):
 Hi,
this might be totally innocent. But you are right to be worried, most people think a platonic relationship with a married woman is just naive.
I guess the key question here is what does her husband think of this? Does she know they talk all the time and say "I love you" . If he doesnt there is definitely something going on, if he does then it may just well be a rare case of a very close friendship without sexual overtones. But the key is how her husband reacts I reckon.
Good luck.
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