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female
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anonymous
writes: please, reallyn eed alot of help! basically about 2weeks ago mmy fiancee of 3yrs broke it off saying he was 2 young to be in a relationship, have recently been told by his mother that he is in a lot of debt and couldnt cope thats why he ended it.i was not aware of the amount of debt he was in and was trying to contact him about money he owes for a phone bill but he would refuse to answer the phone, hang up or ignore messages i inved him for a drink so we could sort this out amiacably he ignored me. by friday i had enough of this so i sent him a message to 4get it i would sort the phone out myself and wouldnt be calling anymore. In the middle of the night he sent me this message, "just got ur message will meet u on sunday, not for a drink. we need to talk"even though i really want him back i've accepted it wont happen but am supposed to meet him tomorrow dont know why i told him i've sorted the phone. think when i go he'll just be horrible and tell me to stay away from him amd his family (his brother and sister in law have been trying to help me get the money)when i meethim what should i do? how should i act?
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reader, lostinlove +, writes (17 June 2006):
You dont say much about your relationship together so I apologise if I sound presumptious but were there money problems in your relationship? How much of an issue was put on bills? If the bills are a constant issue then maybe he feels upset that he is unable to meet all his financial duties, if hes in debt the last thing he wants to do is bring you down with him. Is he under stress from these debts? If so then he may be scared that he will take this stress out on you by arguing I take it you had a strong relationship as you say you were due to be married, maybe you both need to discuss priorities if he wants to talk about finances offer to help him draw up a budget plan or offer help and support in any way you can, at least this way he will feel more comfortable discussing his finances with you as it sounds like you were not aware of them while you were together. If he knows your there for him then maybe he will feel more able to share these problems with you without feeling that he is bringing you down with him. I hope it helps let me know how you get on. xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2006): Your fiancee seems to be acting really strange. Do you not think it a little odd that he broke off the engagement with the reasons that he gave? I do.
After three years in a relationship you seem more worried that he wants to meet up with you so that he can be horrible? He should be more worried about YOU being horrible to him!
Are you not in the least bit angry, or upset, that he has done this to you? If I were you (which I'm not) I would have went to my financees, the day she told me what she did, and get to the bottom of what the problem was. I would be so incredably annoyed that after a three year relationship she could come out with those rediculous reasons.
I think you have taken all this a little too easily.
Stand up for yourself. Meet up with him, hear what he has to say. Act yourself, stay calm, but do not allow him to make you feel like you are in the wrong here. He's just broken up with you after three years in a relationship and said that he no longer wants to be your husband!
Good luck for tomorrow.
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