A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: When i was fifteen i (thought) i fell in love with a friend, he became my boyfriend and we went out for almost two years. It was never exactly perfect, i'm not an emotional person and found it difficult to talk about any real 'feelings' and he never really pushed me to talk about anything i didn't want to. Our friends thought we were a little weird, i was never openly over attatched to him or overly affectionate but when it was just us i know he knew i really loved him.I never trusted anyone before him, and i really did trust him. But things got difficult when he didnt get into uni, and we seemed to drift apart. I still loved him, but it didnt seem enough. He broke up with me, with a text message one night. I was heartbroken, but never let it show and just replied to his text with 'ok'. I spent the next month just ignoring him, crying to myself at night and acting like i was fine because people wouldnt have expected anything else as i have the reputation of being so emotionaless. Anyway, after around a month i met him in a nightclub and he started to talk to me and then we started to make out. I sort of ended up with all the false hope, and we did keep going with each other and texting and talking for well more than a year really. But then, about two months ago it all stopped. And now finally, i think its over.But i keep crying all the time to myself, and being sad and thinking about him constantly and it makes me so sad some days i don't know what to do. I really thought we'd just be together in our own little disfunctional way for the longterm. I guess i just want to know if this empty feeling, for this long a time span is normal or should i be seeking some kind of help to deal with my sadness?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011): You need a friend support, someone to share this sadness with. This doesn't seeem normal to me. Don't get in a rebound relationship yet.
Personally, everytime i go through a break-up, i get sad for 2 days or 3. However it never exceeds 1 week.
Most girls i know told me its never for over 2 months for them.
You seem to give an emotionless personality to people, and you think you should keep this facade even if it hurts. I suggest you open up a bit to a close friend you trust, if you have one.
Seek help quickly.
I know another solution.
Hate him, show him you moved on. Get a new boyfriend and make out when he is watching. If ever he wants you back, push him away and laugh, that should bring your self-confidence back. Don't ever take him back.
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