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I really need positive advice on how to fix things!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 July 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 27 July 2009)
A female Ireland age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Ok, so me and my boyfriend broke up last month after being together for six months. Now this relationship was amazing and he often told me that he really believed he had found his soulmate. I totally felt the same.

He is a very arrogant and good looking guy who has had plenty of girls in the past, but I was the first he ever brought home and being introduced to his family is a HUGE deal in their home, so I felt really happy and confident about the relationship. Then he ended it out of nowhere.

I know him very well and I think perhaps he felt like I was beginning to take him for granted, which in retrospect was true. So we ended and I was devastated. Over the last month though we have been in contact practically every day and it is usually him who makes the move. We have been meeting up and we also took a short break away together. It was all really good:) I am SUCH a worrier though and I'd often start panicking myself and start asking him how he feels about us and stuff which I know annoyed him.

So anyway we were working at it and one day his mom told me that he was in bits over the breakup and that he was his happiest when I was in his life. I really wanted to fix things. But he kept saying that I had to SHOW him how much I loved him and not just say it. He is so insecure and paranoid so I'm wondering if maybe that's why he was so desperate for me to ''prove'' my love for him?? I did not help his insecurity because during the month I kissed another guy in front of him one night which really hurt him.

Anyway, we were working on things and spending a lot of time together and one day he got really mad at me cos I started the whole asking him what he was feeling and stuff and he said I was putting unnecessary pressure on the relationship. (I should mention at this point that he told all his family and friends we were back together). He ended it again and I decided not to put up a fight like I had always been doing.

A few nights later he came to my house in a taxi after a night out saying that he wanted us to fix things and that he loved me, etc etc. I was angry though and when he left the next morning things weren't good. He lost his phone on the night out so we have not been talking at all since last Friday. I was talking to his best friend who was ridiculously rude to me and he told me to leave things now. I really really want this guy back though. It's killing me because I know what we had was amazing. I really need POSITIVE advice on how to fix things:(xxx

View related questions: best friend, broke up, insecure, soulmate

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (27 July 2009):

Starlights agony auntits still early days so dont worry.

if you love him you need to show him you do.

contact him, msg him and declare how you feel.

yes you did kiss another guy infront of him but tell him how that was insignificant compared to him.

you really need to demonstrate to him how much you do love him and loyal to him, as he may not trust you as much.

also you need to stop putting pressure on the relationship when you are together as guys run away from needy girls.

i know his friend said to leave him alone, but if you love him make contact and apologise and ask for another try. this is all you can do for now.

good luck

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