A
female
age
30-35,
*amantha1
writes:Hi All,Please help me out.I am so hurt.Me and my guy friend were dating for 6 months. I fell for him.He was seriously unto me and happy with me and all stuffs happened between us.He let a female friend between us and woud never stop texting her.i used to fight with him for his lack of intrest on me.he would take me out and spend time with me to make me understand that he is busy with his work.but still we would fight over that girl.One day i came to know that I am preganant with his child.he was not ready and for the sake of our family memebers we had to go for abortion :-(. He was there with me all the time to come out of that pain and lead a normal life.I had really tough time to come out of it and usually shower my anger pain and frustration on him.We still had fight over that girl.one day he blasted on me and told me that he doesnt love me and he wants to be alone.He told me not to contact him anymore..He broke up with me. i coud not take this.its been 4 months past my breakup. i really love him. we dont contact each other now.Since we work at the same office,we get to see each other.he sits with that girl in office bus and i sit alone.he never turns back to see me even.Once he saw me laughing with a guy who was sitting besides me.He sent me text saying "good Luck and all the best". I really love this guy and want to spend the rest of my life ith him. I want him back in my life. Really desperate.
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male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (7 October 2013):
What you're describing doesn't seem like true love to me, I'm guessing that you're hurt more because of the breakup and abortion than losing this guy.
Getting dumped can hurt you in many ways, and it can make you feel like you'd do anything to be with the person who dumped you. It can make you feel like you're never going to find someone like them and even of you did they wouldn't love you. It makes you crave their attention and acceptance.
It's really more about rejection and the pain that causes than about the love you lost.
You may not be able to see it right now, but this person probably wasn't as special as you feel they were. He made you insecure and didn't care and then he ultimately broke your heart and isn't there for you when you need him the most. Does that sounds like true love? Not to me. To top it off, you were only together for 6 months.
I'm telling you all this because it can help you to switch from victim (somebody who lost the live of their life) to victor (someone who got rid of someone who wasn't right for them). You just have to view it the right way, and always be reminding yourself this.
I've been hurt in live a few times in my life. Each time, however, it freed me up to meet someone even better. Ultimately I ended up marrying the best person I'd ever been with. So all of those painful breakups were shedding someone keeping me from true love.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 October 2013):
 Sounds like you two weren't really on the same page. What exactly was the reason he couldn't talk to his other female friend? Because you two started dating you thought he would "like" her in that fashion too? Or was it just because she was female? Or were the conversations inappropriate?
You will have a hard time having a healthy relationship if you think part of being with someone is to TELL them, no DICTATE, who they can talk to and when.
You two only dated for 6 months and a LOT happened TO YOU in that time, getting pregnant and having an abortion ( my guess is, that was not really what you wanted) but it might have been the best thing for you - and certainly for him. You need to find someone to talk to about the abortion. And deal with that grief. For some it's a really traumatic experience to have an abortion.
As for him. Well, first of all you want to spend the rest of your life with him? Really? Did he care enough to use a condom EVERY time so you would get pregnant? Does he care now? No, he didn't and no he doesn't. YOU need to accept that he is NOT the great you you wanted him to be. He is NOT your great lost love. Part of these overwhelming "love" feeling you have for him might be tied into the abortion - you feel like him being there for you through it means you share a bond - he might not. He did the right thing in being there for you at the time. After all he was part of the reason you got pregnant in the first place. BUT it doesn't mean what you had for those short 6 months was an epic love story.
LET it go.
Get some counseling or consider therapy because you sound like you are heading towards a depression. I know, because I had an miscarriage in my 20's and the "mental" aftermath was hard, ending in a deep depression and denial about the depression for a long time. Not healthy at all. Getting help was the easy part. Pulling my self out of that deep dark hole was a long long journey I wish on no one. So seek help before you dig that hole.
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