A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Please read this if you have the time I'm torturing myself over this, THanksI'm 16, she is 16. We have been going out for almost 7 months, and its been pretty tough. She suffered from depression and anxiety in the early stages of our relationship, but we got through it. after that, we got stronger than ever, and we fell in love with each other. we both admitted we felt something for each other that was so far away from anyone else.While i truly do love this girl, i just cant help the feeling that something else is going on. While ive been with her, she has gotten multiple txt messages, one said Hey babe hows it goin, the other (from a different guy) said remember when we were kissing and you were on top of me. After the second one, i looked through her phone(i couldnt help it, and i feel really bad about it) and in the sent messages folder, her response was "yeah remember when we had poprocks hahaha"i later confronted her about it, and she was like, oh yeah he was at my friends house the other day with usthese friends werent interested in that guy, so i know he wasnt paired with themShe has hooked up with this guy before(she told me this before the text message) we were going out, like two years agoRegarding the first text, it was from one of her friends who sometimes stays at her neighbors house and hangs out with her.. i talked to her about that too and she told me i had nothing to worry aboutShe also deletes her text messages on a regular basis, and ever since the other two text messages, i have stopped seeing her bring her phone around as much when we are going somewhere or she comes overNow, i really love this girl, but im starting to detach myself from her because i am truly a little bit worried about this, and i have a gut feeling that something went on with this guy from the second text message. now, this wouldnt worry me so much, except for that she has told me of two separate incidents where she has "sort of"cheated on guys. the first time she really did cheat on her boyfriend, they were going out, but for a week they did not talk and both knew it was going to end, but instead of ending it first, she hooked up with a random guy at a partythe second time, she wanted to go out with this guy, but he didnt want to commit, so she hooked up with someone else.. she then told him about it, and he forgave her and asked her outShe has a fairly strong libido, i was her first time with sex, but not even close first time anywhere else. She is also quite attractive, im not trying to brag or anything, but i am just stating that looks will not get into her way at all if she wants to cheat Many of you will say to talk to her about cheating in a way to find her feeling on the issue. we have, i wasnt even the one initiating it most of the time. we agreed that we would end it if either of us cheated. we even made up a name for my "imaginary other girlfriend" which she brings up about every other time we hang out, and sometimes over phone calls. I dont bring up this subject as much in a joking way, but I have called her about the two text messagesThere have also been times where she has "sneakily" left me and i saw her glancing over to shirtless guysBasically, I really love this girl, but I have had this gut feeling that she has or is cheating on me. Her depression and anxiety have returned due to the school year, and im not sure what is making me think these things,but my gut feeling has come back again. I really dont want to get screwed over on this, and I would rather end it now than be duped and be with her for a long time, because of the old phrase "once a cheater, always a cheater"Please offer your opinions on this, I could really use the help.Thanks
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female
reader, josien  +, writes (10 October 2008):
oh sorry about that,
it hurting to love someone who you don't trust and yet trust makes the relationship going.
if you do not trust this girl ma dear even thogh you cling on to her you will rea nothing from the relationship.
if yoy talk to her and nothing is changing move on ma dear.
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