A
female
age
36-40,
*xcajunirish
writes:well, I am engaged and the fact that i will be married has had me thinking that my fiancee is my #1 He is my all everything and for some reason i dont feel that he feels the same about me. I feel second to his family and all that. This is both of our first times being married and we have to adjust the way we think and be each others top priority. We dont even talk about huge decisions like the dog getting surgery that cost $500 he just goes and does it. I just want to get this straight before marriage because if we dont talk it wont last a year... I have tried to talk to him about this and he has said that he will try but he doesnt even do that.....What should i do??
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female
reader, txcajunirish +, writes (6 August 2007):
txcajunirish is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all so much... he has come to the realization that this is the way that is has to be.... he said that he is going to try to do things with "our" best intrest at hand and not just his....im so proud of him and the steps that he is taking everyday to make our relationship better. Thank You all
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007): If you cannot compromise on issues, and openly discuss core issues with this man, then do not marry him, as these are huge red flags that he is controlling and unwilling to make you happy or to learn to compromise.
The little things in marriage become huge if not openly discussed. I recommend you get some premarital counseling and put the the big event on hold, or you may wind up a divorce statistic, and you don't want that do you?
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A
female
reader, edsbabygirl +, writes (4 August 2007):
 It sounds like you tried to make it pretty clear to him that you want it to be the two of you, not he decides and then you just follow. Like is no fun if you are going to be someones puppy dog. Love is a great thing, but it also has it's limits. Maybe you should make some decisions on your own and see if he feels the same after that. Good luck. I hope I could have helped.
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