A
female
age
36-40,
*ules6686
writes:I'm 21, almost 22. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. We had been friends for 5 years before we started dating. I'm at the point in my life where I am ready to get married and have a family. I keep seeing my friends get married or engaged and it just depresses me to no end that he has not asked yet. I finally decided to talk to him about it. He informed me that he never wanted to get married and nothing would change his mind (his parents recently divorced). Should I give him a few years to see if he changes his mind or should I leave and find someone who wants the same thing now? I really love him and don't want to lose him, but I don't want to be his lifetime girlfriend either. What should I do?
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male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (20 February 2008):
What makes you think he'll change his mind? He's already told you his stance on the matter of marraige.It's now up to you to make a decision.My dear,love isn't enough to make a relationship last.You may just realise your paths are two different directions as is the case with your bf.You want marraige he doesn't want.What do you think is the sensible thing to do when two people don't agree? Then it also seems you feel that you are being left out because your friends are being married everywhere you face but you need to think independently and not try and fit in with your friends.My ex had a similar situation when i was dating her,her friend was wedding.She dumped me hoping she'll meet sum1 to marry her quickly.Guess what,she's still in the dating game after 5yrs.I wouldn't blame you if you left your bf 4 sum1 else but please don't feel pressured just because your friends are getting married.As for your bf,either swaallow your pride and remain just his gf or gather your guts and look elsewhere.Keep in mind to find out what a guy thinks about marraige before you become too serious with him.
Good Luck
Take Care.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 February 2008):
 Give him a time frame and then if he does not change, then you have to leave him and look for someone who is in the marriage market.
Your biological clock is ticking but his has not started yet.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (20 February 2008):
 I think you should definatly give him time. His main fear right now is that he will end up travelling the same road as his parents and that will take time and reassurence from you to overcome. Drop the topic for the moment but try and make things as special between you as you can then let things develop.
Your relationship sounds strong and healthy and of course what happened to his parents has no bearing on how your marriage will turn out but that is probably not how it is playing in his mind. He may well be afraid that marriage will sour things and weaken you two. If this is the case then he can be won over with time and perseverance and from what you write here what you have is clearly worth taking that time. If you leave now without trying I think you will regret it.
Good luck :).
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A
female
reader, deedee01 +, writes (20 February 2008):
if you really love this man then marriage should not be an issue and you should not leave him just because its not for him but a relationsip is a lot of give and take you have to try and find a place where you can meet in he middle. If he really loves you he will. Get ingaged and stay togther for as long as it takes. but at the end ofthe day if it is rite for the both of you then in time it will happen. But on the other hand if you want to leave this man you say you love to find some one who will be second best but who will marry you then that is your choice but dont let a bit of papper ruin what you have. Over 50% of marriage's end in divorce anyway.
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