A
female
age
30-35,
*onfused?
writes:this boy asked me out four years ago when i was 11 and i said no cause i was stupid, young and scared but soon after i started to really fancy him. now i'm 15 and i still haven't got over him properly- that's my problem. i care about him so much and i think he likes me too. i have to see him every day and it's still so awkward between us like there's so much unspoken tension. i wish i could just talk to him properly but we both find it too difficult- it's become unnatural. it's sending me mad, i love him so much- what should i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2007): i have been in this same situation. Alot of time has passed so im sure that the awkwardness isnt really there! I think that you may be imaginging that the awkwardness is there because you are reading too much into the situation.
Just start making polite conversation with him again and become freinds again. Then maybe in the future you can discuss what happened and maybe something will happen between the two of you.
Good luck
A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (20 May 2007):
 Alot of water has gone under the bridge since he asked you out, and you are now four years older, and more mature than you was.
Try to make a friend out of him first, ask him if he had a nice weekend, and what did he do ect. When you feel things are going good and you are both getting along well, bring up about when he asked you out for years ago. Say you were young and immature, and that you have changed alot. After hearing this he may well ask you out again, and this time you can say yes.
All the best of luck x
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A
female
reader, mcbirdie +, writes (20 May 2007):
 Ask him out. Go on a date and let him burst the bubble of your fantasy, because after four years of imagining him to be someone you care about so much, that is just about the only thing that will work.
Please understand that I completely get the intensity of your feelings. But that you have built up a guy who asked you out when you were 11 to be someone who needs to be "got over" indicates that you are idolizing the thought of him rather than contemplating reality. I highly doubt that he is experiencing this "tension" between you because of a rejected date offer--more likely than not, he doesn't think of it at all and is simply responding to your awkwardness around him.
If you cannot talk to him comfortably, I think that you'll find that it is hard to sustain feelings of love when you are no longer in the realm of daydreaming. So get him in front of you. Go out for pizza and see how it feels then.
Best of luck to you.
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (20 May 2007):
 Ask him out for coffee. It's only a few minutes time, and generally a guy is willing to have that short of a conversation.
DV1
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