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I really like him but he's still in love with his ex.

Tagged as: Friends, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 June 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 18 February 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi. I like this guy, and he likes me too. We've known and liked each other for years, but he still is in love with his ex. They're is a lot more to this situation, but that's pretty much the main point. So what should I do???

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A female reader, ty United States +, writes (18 February 2008):

don't get caught up!!!! I just went through the same thing only to find out that he was trying to use me to replace the pain of no longer having his ex... it sucks because I really liked him but gradually he bacame distant from me

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2007):

Im in the same situation!I have fell in love with this guy adn he is still in Love with his ex. All im doin is being very patenit with hima s he will eventually get over her. I know it can be hard at times but just remember he is with you now adn your the one he kisses goodnight to!

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A male reader, Frank B Kermit Canada +, writes (19 June 2007):

Frank B Kermit agony auntNever invest too much into a person that is still inlove with someone else.

-FBK

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007):

I have been in the EXACT situation as you, and urge you to be so so careful of getting involved here for a long while. I don't want you to make the same mistake I did. I had known my ex for years, and became close friends with him. I was there for him all the time, being a shoulder to cry on and cheering him up after he split up with his fiancee, etc. He would talk about his ex alot and how she was the love of his life. Eventually, he asked me to become his girlfriend and I felt I had met the love of my life. He constantly assured me he was over her and would never compare me with her, but now I don't think he was over her at all. He even talked about how amazing his ex was, just after we had made love for the first and only time! Gradually, this man who I thought was so amazing turned in someone distant, cold, uncommunicative and I thought after so many years of being his friend that I knew him!!! He then dumped me saying some pretty nasty things. He has tried to stay in contact saying he wants to be good friends but I have severed all contact. Losing his friendship is the most difficult thing I have had to encounter in my life. I spent many months in tears and even contemplated suicide. My ex had put his ex-fiancee on such a high pedestal and I was always felt the consolation prize. Please never, ever settle for second best. Be very sure you know this guy inside out like how he copes when you two have disagreements, etc. Please wait as long as possible - and then some! I really don't want you to go through what I went through,

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007):

Thanks, kenny. I guess that gives me some hope. I just don't know if she still loves him, and neither does he. But he's trying to get together with her to find out. So I am just trying to be a good friend and support him. I just want both of us to be happy, and that would be cool if it was with each other, but whatever is meant to be... I guess

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (18 June 2007):

kenny agony auntIf he is still in love with his ex there is not really alot you can do at this point.

I would be inclined to take a back seat on this one and just wait and see what happens further down the line. You say he is still in love with love with this ex of his, but is she still in love with him?.

You have both known and liked each other for years so the likellhood of something happening between the pair of you are quite high, just take your time and let things happen of their own accord.

Good luck x

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