A
male
age
36-40,
*arvels
writes:I'm not sure about pursuing a relationship with this girl.Hi. I'm from Pakistan and currently studying at a University in London. There I befriended a Tunisian girl. I became attracted to her because of her character. At first I was just merely being her friend but then because of the feeling I had for her I started moving things forward. I was being all romantic and stuff. She started to take notice and was responding positively. I think she may start to like me more than a friend,So, now you all must be wondering what the problem is. The problem is She's Tunisian. I'm not being nationalistic or something. The thing is our culture is different. If she does start to develop her feelings towards me and if things do get serious between us, then I'm not sure if she'll be able to adjust to my culture and be able to live.Another big problem is I don't know how my family will react to all this. In our culture, we are family-oriented and the son lives with his parents even after marriage. I mean the son does have independence when he becomes an adult but still stays with the family. Also, in our culture, we are suppose to marry a Pakistani (I know how stupid that sounds but unfortunately that's how it is). Another thing important in our culture is the reputation of the family. So If I'm marrying someone who's not Pakistani then I'm going against my culture and thus ruining the reputation of my family. I really don't want that because I really love my family and they have been super nice to me throughout my life. My parents are totally amazing and I would hate to hurt them.But, I also like this Tunisian girl so I'm really confused right now. I have no idea what to do. Should I start having a relationship with her? If not then is there a way to end my feelings for her. I really want someone to tell me what to do. I'm also running out of time. My semester will end sometime in April and I may not see her again If I don't start a relationship with her.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2013): You presume that she would be the one to adjust to your culture. What if she prefers you to adjust to her culture?
In the short term yes, I believe you can have something beautiful. In the longterm it sounds like you are not willing to go against your culture.
So if you both want short term, go for it.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (29 December 2013):
 You've done a very complete job of describing just how your "culture"... and your FAMILY, incidentally, are going to dictate to you just how to live your life....
The only REAL question that I think you face is: "Am I going to let my family and culture dictate my life? ... or, am I going to determine how my life is lived?"
Your question; your answer.... your happiness.... your life...
Good luck...
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