A
male
age
36-40,
*mileyNick
writes:Dear usersI am really looking for some mature advice from anyone who can help me.My name is Nick and I have just turned 21, things at work are ok, and I have been talking and getting to know a person who I really do admire at work. The problem is she has a boyfriend and she is 17.The question I keep asking myself is, am I too old for her? Not to mention the boyfriend aspect. She has mentioned on many occasions how her relationship with her bf is “ok” and they recently just got back together over a small tiff.(dont want to take advantage either)She also mentioned to me over a random conversation topic that her boyfriend was an idiot (nice word used) and that really sent me a shockwave. Was this a sign?She in return is engaging to me in my conversations and makes an effort to say hello, smile and talk to me, as well as making each other laugh.I’m pretty useless when it comes to reading the signs and all that, I spoke to a friend of mine and he said that was clearly a hint. Being the person I am, I am always reluctant to see the good side and think nothing of it.There is a Christmas party coming up in a few days, and I was planning to make a more forward approach to her on the night (not drunk)So this is my message, and if anyone who has any supportive advice, I would love to hear from you all.Thank you and merry ChristmasNick
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at work, christmas, drunk, got back together, has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (19 December 2007):
Don't play the pitiful one for her,you've got your own interests at heart.What makes you so sure if you were him you'd do things more differently?Always remember what goes around comes around.Even if it looks fair,it's unfair!
Be cool.
A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (19 December 2007):
 All I would worry is that she might not be totally emotionally detatched from him if/when you get together, and whether you could trust her not to do the same to you if you were to get together, and at some point go through a bad patch. Follow your heart but keep your eyes open x
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A
male
reader, SmileyNick +, writes (18 December 2007):
SmileyNick is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the comments everyone. I have no desire to be the "other man" however her current boyfriend and his attitude is obviously not doing them both any good, he should realise what he has.
If she is unhappy i see no reason why breaking up the already broken current relationship would be a bad thing. It would be a totally different story if they both had a strong relationship as doing that would be wrong.
If I were in his shoes, I would of already realised she isn’t happy and hopefully sorted it all out before a stage such as this even happens.
As for her "doing it again" I have no problems with that, if she does then I know I was with the wrong person, no questions asked. (I am quite laid back)
However I would try not to get to that stage if it were me.
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A
male
reader, chlez83 +, writes (18 December 2007):
You got two options.You seem to be bent on the 1st one.Number one,forget her dude and act on her tale tale signs and see how lucky you get.Number two,imagine you were the guy she's calling an idiot and some one else moves in on your girl.Put yourself in the guy's shoes,for a minute,and think.She definitely likes you and is hoping you make a move on her but do you have the guts to break up a relationship.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007): If you got with her, there's always the chance she cheat on you or leave you for another man. If it does look like your going to get together, ask her too dump her b/f. Don't be the other man! On the age, 21 isn't alot! 4yr diffrence at that age isn't lot. I understand if she was 15 but she's not.
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A
female
reader, loving_life  +, writes (18 December 2007):
hey!
first off i dont think you are too old for her at all..i am 17 and my boyfriend is 21... at first some people were against it, but if she is mature enough to handle it, it will be fine. secondly, even if she has a boyfriend you should give it a go..just ask her to the christmas party and she what she says... if she and here boyfriend arent doing to wel, she may realize her feelings for you...but like people say "its better to have love and lost, then to never have loved at all." so just try :)
hope this helps....good luck...and merry xmas!
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (18 December 2007):
She's sending you a clear sign that she likes you and is sending the feelers out on how you feel back...She's letting you know she's not happy in her relationship and sounds to me like if you said you liked her she would leave her boyfriend.
The only trouble about that, is if you did get together, would you trust her not to to the same to you as she is doing to her current boyfriend?
As for the age thing, I wouldn't say you are too old for her. Maturity plays a big part as well though.
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A
female
reader, chalotte  +, writes (18 December 2007):
Hey,HI!!to answer your question, I think you should tell her how you feel about her...just let her know, who knows she might say "yes" and it will be your lucky day...or maybe if you be there for her when she might need you or not just be there for her...
good luck
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