A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm a girl and I have recently found myself attracted to my friend who's a girl. When I had my birthday party she told me that she liked this guy, but every time were together it's like we have some connection. There's this other girl that were friends with and it seems like the girl I'm crushing on likes her more or as if they were in a secret relationship but the girl that's our friend dates guys. What should I do? I really like her and I would tell her but I don't wanna ruin our friendship.
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female
reader, llifton +, writes (20 April 2014):
 That's a tough one. Being gay, I can relate. Especially when I was younger and everyone wasn't out of the closet yet. You had to wonder if they were into girls or if they were straight.
My advice is that if she seems to be in a secret relationship with this other friend of yours, she probably is. I had a handful of friends when I was around your age who never came out til way later and who had secret relationships like that. They all didn't come out until a few years later, when they felt more comfortable with it.
Anyway, I wouldn't say anything just yet. The reason I say that is because for one, if she's not gay and you admit to having feelings for her, she may freak out on you and it might ruin your friendship, as you're well aware. But also, secondly, if she IS gay, it sounds rather possible that she's in already in a relationship with this other girl.
Your best bet may be to lay low for a while and keep feeling out the situation. Maybe even admit to having crushes on girls and see how she responds. See if she admits to you that she feels that same way back for women. Test the water. I would just be afraid of ruining a friendship. I always used to play it low key until I was certain about how a girl felt. Then I would go for it. That's my two cents.
Good luck.
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