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I really like a girl at work, what should I do!

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Question - (21 December 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 22 December 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi, there's a girl at work who I really like. It might seem strange to say this, but the kind of things she does (in particular her sense of humour is very

much like mine) she seems perfect for me!

There's a few issues though! (otherwise i wouldn't be here!)

- I can be quite shy at times and I've not had much success when it comes to girlfriends - I wouldn't call myself god's gift :) And I wouldn't say she's drop

dead gorgeous before you ask. Anyway, that obviously affects my confidence.

- I've not yet had a chance to chat to her properly one-to-one as she doesn't work in my office and I never have any reason to go to her office. Whenever

we're at the same events away from work she tends to stay quite close to her work friends so it's difficult for me to chat to her.

She does know who I am - through work email and events outside of work. It's not like she has no idea who I am!

I have been very tempted in the past to email her to see if she wants to go for a drink but I think nerves get the better of me doing that. With the

Christmas break coming up she's now off work until late in January and I'd love to ask her out before she got back - I'm thinking if she said no at least

there's the break to get over the awkwardness!

I'm now tempted to do one of three things:

- I happen to have her mobile number and she has mine. I want to text her to ask her out for a drink (with me being on the shy side). But is this a bad thing

to do even if I briefly explained why I text her instead of asking face to face?

- There's a small possibility she may be at an event I'm at this week although it's quite short and I'd probably only be able to catch her alone before she

got in her car to leave. But I doubt it'll work!

- The alternative is, I'm slightly more chatty with some of the girls she works with (through work email and facebook). Would it be a good idea to ask one of

them if they think I stood a chance with her? This might seem a bit weird but at least it would avoid the awkwardness if they think I didn't (or she already

had a boyfriend!) I'm sure I could word the message so they kept quiet (at least for a while!)

Other than that there are a couple of events in February that we should both be at. But I just think the longer I leave it the less chance I have!

ARGH! Please help! :)

I've tried to explain the best I can, if something doesn't sound right I'll respond.

View related questions: at work, confidence, facebook, girl at work, shy, text

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008):

wow, some I'm surprised both answers to my question were positive - I was expecting something more along the lines of "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!?!?" :)

I'm still very tempted to text her, at least I'd feel happier doing it that way.

I just hope it doesn't make it a bit awkward when it comes to the work do's we go to!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008):

I struggled for a long time to get my first job out of school. When I look back at that experience I think the difficult part was getting over the fear of rejection. It kept me from doing all sorts of handy things one needs to do to get a job. Once I got rejected from a few jobs, it wasn’t such a big deal. In fact, I got rejected from most of the jobs I wanted, and in the process I got my first job which was an awesome job.

This girl at work will probably reject you, maybe not, who knows? The point is that you putting yourself out there and taking the risk will go more towards you getting a girl in the long term than anything else you do or think about. Girls are fickle, and she probably already knows whether she would take you or not, so it doesn’t really matter how you approach her as long as you do.

In the end, if you know what you’re looking for, and you can approach the right girls, then one of them will eventually think you are what she’s looking for. So, throw yourself out there so you can get accepted or move on to the next one.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008):

Just tell her. Text email face to face just do it! have u heard of Tony Montana cockaroach? First you get the money then you get the power once you get the power then u get the balls once you got balls then u get the women

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