A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:When my boyfriend gets angry over something I did he does not show his anger he internalizes it. A few days after he makes more out of it and says he needs space to get over it. He makes mountains out of molehills. His friends all say he is a great guy but is very emotional. He always said he never wants to raise his voice or show his anger towards me. However this behavior is hurting me. We are on a brief break right now and I just dont know what to do when we see each other again. I really just want him to grow up and behave like an adult instead of a child running away and sulking and hiding. Is there anything I can do to show him that his anger is not only hurting me but it is also hurting him? Or do you think he is just using this as a way to stop from getting too close because he really is afraid of commitment. I really think he loves me, but perhaps I am wrong. I know he was hurt very deeply in a long term relationship where the woman was so rotten she did not even go to his mothers funeral - this was approx 3 years ago. Any advice? I do love him, but I don't want to beat a dead horse. PS when he hides he hangs out with all his older older friends.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2009): Just wanted to thank you all for your help. You have provided great insight. Thank you all again for taking the time to help. Usually most men I have known are very open and easy, this one is not. But hopefully in the long run he will be worth it. Happiness to all and thank you!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2009): HiHeard of silent abuse? yeh it hurts quite a lot actually.Sulk for an hour that's fine...but to drag things on is actually wanting to punish you...i have had to put up with this crap for days in the past...it is actually my pet hate..moods and sulking...but that's just me blaaaaaaaaaabest way to deal with a long term sulker......LET THEM SULK ON THEIR OWN...guess what! when they don't have an audience they can't sulk....BET HE DOES'NT SULK ON THE BREAKS IT'S AN EXCUSE....many wasted days.P.S bad behavior because of PAST hurts NO EXCUSE OR JUSTIFICATION..BREAKS......via on dios.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (25 March 2009):
Hello again.
I see Gina recognises the repost too. You keep getting advice here so why not follow it rather than coming back and rephrasing the question.
You seem desperate for someone to agree this is some kind of commitment phobic response. And not just that he's a spoiled brat.
Fine, yes, this all is a reaction from his ex, it's a clear case of being emotionally unavailable. I don't know, inset some emotional crap here and make up your own answer if it helps you.
Now go and take the advice you've been given.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, Johndoe254 +, writes (25 March 2009):
I understand what's going on a good bit he's probably talking about things with his friends b/c they will try and help stick by him I know what he's doing I did the same shit it's not really childish it's just his way of dealing with problems stick by him and see if you can help and I think it's respectful not to get mad at you that tells me he loves you b/c if he's making an effort to get some guidance from friends he does love you and he doesn't want to push you away just work with him show him you love him no matter what ya know that's my advice hope all goes well for the two of you and feel free to ask me anything
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009): Hmm, have you told him any of this? Maybe you need to open the lines of communication up a little more so he feels comfortable telling you up front when he is upset. Everyone communicates on different levels, it's hard to find a common ground sometimes. He may not be comfortable or now how to express him emotions through words so he just avoids it till he gets over it. Try talking to him and tell him it is hurting you and that he can't continue to do this. Let him know your on his side though and your not attacking him, you just want to help your relationship, and if there is something that your doing that is upsetting him you want to know so you don't continue to repeat it.
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