A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I really hope you can help me. I'm in such a mess.You see, there's a guy who i've liked from the very moment i saw him. It was certainly an instant attraction, me and him soon became friends and all went well until i drunkenly told him that i loved him (baring in mind this was last October - so it has been quite a while now) things became awkward, i apologised and we managed to get things back to normal - i took the hint that he didn't feel the same way, which was understandable because we'd barely known each other a month before i confessed this to him. Anyway things between us have since, always been 'tense' like when we're alone, we don't know what to say to each other and it always seems to be me that tries to make conversation and he makes his own efforts to keep the conversation going to avoid any awkward silences. Until recently, things between us have gradually improved. But then a few weeks back a load of rumours went round, i still can't make any sense of them. In basic terms; An unknown person (who clearly knows about the situation of me feeling this way about him) told him a load of crap about me, the things said were slightly true but highly exaggerated and made me out to be some sort of 'freak'. I have since, wanted to explain that these were exaggerated/lies and i'm positive that if i were to tell him the truth that he would believe me, however i cannot bring myself to bring up the conversation. I feel that because of how long ago this all went on (about 6-8 weeks ago) that i have lost my chance to fix the situation. I do plan to talk to him about it evenutally, to stop him thinking bad things about me (which he expressed to my friends who then told me) but however, i need to find the right moment and with the way things are currently going i don't think there will ever be a 'right moment'.Besides all of this, i've always had this instinct that he likes me - i can't explain it, it's just how i interpret his behaviour and nervoussness around me etc. But i'm unsure if he really does like me, he's confused about how he feels or that i've got the wrong idea all together and he likes me no more than a friend. But sometimes it doesn't even seem like we're friends, we're not even that close to be honest and i think this whole situation of the rumours has had a dramatic affect on our friendship, it's as though we have drifted apart and feel completely uncomfortable around each other.I'm not sure how to handle the situation. I genuinely love him and everything seems to be going against the possible chances of us ever being together, almost as though fate is against us. I watched a film tonight called 'My Best Friend's Wedding' and although my situation is quite different to the one associated with the film, I found a relation between the two in the way that the woman is in love with her 'best' friend. The guy in question is not my best friend overall but he's my best guy friend and i know i'm not his best girl friend. But that doesn't bother me, i'm just expressing the similarities between my situation and the one in this film (sorry if i'm going off topic a bit) but again, referring to the film, it brought out this uncontrollable emotional side to me at the point when she told him she loved him, it brought floods of tears to my eyes and i just had to leave the room and cry it out. He means so much to me and i don't think these feelings can be considered any less than love. I try to hide this, even though he is aware of how i feel or perhaps he thinks i'm over him now, i'm not sure. But recently i've really been trying to act 'normal' with him as though he means only a friend to me, I don't laugh at everything he says anymore, I don't make much eye contact with him anymore and i don't even text him anymore. It's as though i'm trying to convince myself as well as him, that these love-like feelings don't exist. But why should i follow a lie, I can't do it any longer and it's beyond my control. I have no idea what to do.I'm sorry my question isn't specific, I'm just asking that you take everything i've written into consideration and give me guidance on what i should do. Thank you so very much for any replies I receive.
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female
reader, mint +, writes (26 April 2009):
 i think that you should go up to him and jus explain everything and if he truly likes you then he will believe youthan from there you can tell him how you feel kill 2 birds with one stone
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