A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello... Don't really know where to start but here goes.I was with someone 4 nearly a year. When we first met i was sooo mad about him and he didnt seem that interested in me.. infact he wasnt nice at all. after months of chasing he i finally got him and was with him. i was so happy with him. we lived in the same block and i practically lived with him. it was quite intense. however everything seemed to be on his terms. like i would be on the phone 2 friends and he'd talk 2 me online and be like... if ur not up here in 10 mins im locking u out of my flat etc etc... there were so many occasions like this, i even remember 1 time i was crying outside and he wouldnt let me in and his friend actually came outside and picked me up. i use 2 go down and stay with his family in the summer and it was awesome, he couldnt drive so it was always me making the effort to go there etc etc. i use 2 drive us everywhere when we were together, like if he wanted 2 go get something then that was it... 1 time we drove like 50 miles to go pick up his tv he was kinda funny with me that i said no at first. When im typing all this it feels like i was abit used... but when i think about how it was when i was with him, when it was good it was really good. like i was soooo in love with him! i didnt care if he was abit jealous about me spending time with my friends it made me feel special i guess, that he cared that much. all the way thro the relationship my friend (a boy) would ring every now and then. this guy is 1 of my best friends and we are really close. i discovered that he had feelings 4 me and told my boyfriend and from then on he was just so maddddd about this other boy. but the fact of it was if i wanted to be with this other person i would never ever be with my boyfriend!!! He was 100% my friend! his jealously got worse from then on in and he would finish with me online or publically! It was so humliating and then just get back with me a few days later. It got 2 the point were i was frightened to say i was out with my best friend and her boyfriend 4 food so i didnt answer my phone and then he finished it agen!! After that it was enough! It was like i had been pushed 2 far and i couldnt get back with him when he asked me the next time! i just thought i dont need this!!All the time we've been broken up ive asked 4 him 2 back off and give me some space to breathe! he texts me constantly everyday saying how much he loves me and how he has changed but everytime i asked 2 be alone he says i obviously dont love him and dont care enough... he even called me a whore because i wanted 2 go home and see my family... how is that some1 who has changed?I just dont kno what 2 do anymore... i kno i still love him and miss him but i really dont want a relationship like that... and even though he says hes changed hes still showing signs that he hasnt like he cant even give me some space 2 figure out what my next move is!! Its been months!!! also i kno i shouldnt let what others think affect me but my frienda and family are so against him and me and i hate that... i couldnt be with some1 they were against i dont think... i dont even know if it is something i want!!! I am so confused!! and i kno the answer is be alone 4 a while 2 work it out!!! But he doesnt ever listen!!! it breaks me down everyday!Please any1 with some advice help me! im so depressed.
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female
reader, didda123 +, writes (17 March 2009):
 Yes i am sure you are doing the right thing, give yourself plenty of space and don't let him pressure you.
I think you know in your heart that this relationship is going no where, he is very controlling and i can't see him ever changing.
I know it is painful right now but given a little time things will become much easier and you will eventually meet someone who deserves you and appreciates you fully.
From what you have written i think you are best out of that relationship, start a fresh, you know yourself by what you have just said that things are not quite right. Your friends are seeing things from the outside looking in, they are right so i would take their advice.
Sometimes when you write things down and read them over things become much clearer, yes i know you have had good times but the bad times are beginning to outway the good or you would not have posted your cry for help.
Be strong and move on and give yourself the chance to meet someone new.
Good luck x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2009): I really dont understand where the advice is needed here. He is a controlling jerk on a power trip. Get away and stay away from him. Of course he is telling you that he loves you now. You left and he is willing to say anything to get you back under his thumb. Do not let this happen, it will only get worse. You need to just move on. Sorry to be so blunt about this but I dont know how else to say it. Good luck to you...Jez
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