A
female
age
30-35,
*iss blurry
writes:Hi. I have been with my bf three years nearly (on and off) we have been through alot together-alot.Thing is I have always been a little insecure about him looking elswhere and I always thought I was just paranoid but then the other week I found on his email account that he had signed up with an adultfriendfinder, though he had not put a pic up or spoken to any women the description he had put about himself really upset me and I generally since then think he is on the hunt for sex elswhere(he said he was drunk and angry that i kept accusing when he never does anything wrong). It makes me think about a time a few months ago when he had a female friend he would often give lifts to for various things and she would sort him out money or petrol, the only problem was....whenever he was with her he would not anwser his phone-he said its because he knew i would be annoyed he was late etc. and i kind of believe him. I have found texts on his phone to her saying 'sorry had to give her a lift,tried getting out of it' meaning me!! we have a young baby together and as I have found no other evidence of him cheating or any flirtatious messages do you think I am silly to be paranoid? As he has always been trustworthy in the past but since signing up to that website when he was drunk I am going back over everything in the past, every event he could possibly have been cheating. It is making our relationship miserable as i go on and on at him that i know he has done wrong and he reassures me time and time again that he loves me and would never do that to me. He is a brilliant dad and a loving bf who always makes me feel good about myself, he also is very patient with me, but I cant stop obsessing about something he probably hasnt even done??? Please help, thanks for reading
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drunk, flirt, insecure, money, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Miss blurry +, writes (11 June 2012):
Miss blurry is verified as being by the original poster of the questiondaughter. and i trust him more now he has explained to me how he has been feeling instead of hiding away
A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (10 June 2012):
 Then do what you think is right. You obviously have your own theory on this.
So follow your gut and do what is right.
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A
female
reader, Miss blurry +, writes (10 June 2012):
Miss blurry is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah but he has done some dodgy dealings in the past and i think the lift is more to do with that sort of thing and him not wanting to find out rather than cheating. There were no flirtatious messages he let me read the texts at the time i questioned him. And yes i know adultfriendfinder is for meeting people for sex but he didnt even upload a picture all he did was put a few details and u have to pay to do anything else..... he has never been unfaithful in the past and i honestly think i should believe him...
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A
female
reader, Anastasia +, writes (9 June 2012):
Hi,
I don't think you are being paranoid at all. To me if you are giving someone an innocent lift and your phone goes off....what harm is it in answering the phone call? It's just a lift right. AdultFriendFinder...people only go there to find casual sex with adults....it's isn't a penpal site...I'm just saying. To sign up....it's not complicated, but it takes some time to answer questions....I am not sure if drunk equates someone being coherent enough to go through that process. And let's not forget the text messages...that would have done it for me....You're trying to get out of giving her a lift...isn't this the mother of your child?? You've got to be kidding me. I say sit him down, read him the riot act and give him an ultimatum. Stop this nonsense immediately. He has a good girlfriend, a young baby and should be more responsible.
He wants to play around. Tell him go find a ball and kick it around...don't play with your feelings or your health and certainly don't play around with setting a good example for your son.
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