A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm currently a student on placement and began my six month placement at the end of April. I was appointed a supervisor to over see my work. Since i began my placement me and my supervisor have gotten on great. He's been really supportive and really helpful. There's always banter between us and since i started we've always been a little flirty towards one another. Around six weeks back he'd text me when he was on a night out with people we work with. His texts were even more flirty and he asked if he could take me out one time. I ignored the message as he was drunk. However the week after he had asked me out I ended up texting him saying i liked him etc, which was fine as he had said he liked me too. The following week we were both drunk and he began texting me saying how much he liked me etc which lead to us sending dirty texts to each other. The following morning he asked if I'd like to hang out, so that night he took me out for dinner and we went back to his for drinks. After dinner he told me how he had recently been seeing a girl but she broke it off to go travelling (i never thought any more of it). I ended up spending the night. I had possibly the best night of my life. We had amazing sex and really connected. I then stayed the following night too and only left when we both had work on Monday morning. Luckily he was working away from the office for a few days so there was no awkwardness at work. However two days later (the wednesday) he text me saying could i come round. I went over after work and he told me his ex had rang him and was coming home at the end of august. He was confused as she expected things to go back to normal between them but he had started to really like me so was unsure of what to do. After a heart to heart i told him that i liked what we had so far but it was early days and ideally i would have liked to see how things went but if he wanted to pursue his ex girlfriend then that was understandable. I ended up spending the night again, and again it was amazing - yet not helpful due to the discussion we had! I saw him that day and the following day at work and everything seemed normal and great. However i texted him on friday night, he replied but seemed distant. We sent a few dirty texts on saturday (he started it) yet we were both home alone and he didnt ask to see me. I also havent heard from him since. Im now on annual leave until a week on Wednesday so wont see him at work. In addition to this he got a new job so leaves work the end of august (which is also why it wouldnt be a problem if we get together) Which means i only have one more week of seeing him at work. I dont know what to do now! I wish i had put up more of a fight and told him how much i liked him. I havent felt like this about anyone for a long time! We just seem to connect, everytime i'm with him i just feel like i'm going to explode with happiness. I suppose my question is what should i do next? Do i leave the ball in his court? Casually text him? or tell him how i feel?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2013): I would hold back and not get your hopes up. But he does owe you an explanation of what his intentions are. He started things with you so you're perfectly within your right to ask him where you stand with him. This is not pressuring him to choose you over her. Just to be honest with you so you can make your own decisions for yourself.Make sure you are calm and objective when you ask him. Maybe ask him by email or text. The thing is, many guys hate to have a crying woman on their hands and will say anything no matter how dishonest if they think it will get her to shut up. Therefore if you can't be totally calm and emotionless when asking him where you stand, it's better to not do it face to face. Do you know him well enough to know if he is trustworthy? Would he lie to you to string you along for his own benefit? Already I see some red flags. Almost all organizations have a rule that supervisors not date their subordinates. He blatantly crossed that line. To me that gives a glimpse of hos character.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2013): There are many factors here that make this a little questionable. I don't believe this woman he mentions is really his ex. At least, not yet. I think things got ahead of his plans. I think he was expecting a fling, thus he told you about her just to plant the seed. Now she's returning the end of August, and he grows distant.
I suggest that you don't hang your heart on this just yet. You don't really know the true connection between this guy and his "so-called" ex. You don't know the outcome.
If he does a reconciliation with her; don't be so sure it will be for you. She's still going to be in the picture. If you happen to surface too soon; you will have an action-packed drama on your hands.
If there are still emotional ties with his (?)=ex; you'll be the "rebound-girl" for sure. So if you're in it for the casual sex, and you can control how much of your feelings you will invest; then proceed with caution. I strongly suggest that you yield to your better judgement.
I don't really recommend that you follow through. I see you getting hurt in the end. There is still something strong going on between him and his (?)=ex. You're the third wheel.
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