A
male
age
30-35,
*cukup
writes:She was crazy about me and wanted to be with me about a year ago and i just wasent ready to be in a relashionship and wasent fully attracted to her apearance. and when i say she wanted to be with me i mean like shed practically stalk me and have our mutual freind always try and set us up and i would put a smile on her face just by cing me and i compleetely ignored her and would brush her off.a year later....we started talking on MSN for like literally 1-2 day's for hours before bed and agreed to meet up the next day, we went for a long romantic walk and ended up in a field, and i kissed her, and it felt soo good, and i knew she wanted to be with me.as much as i liked her as a person, i was at first mostly in it for the way she made me feel like a god (i could do no wrong) but she Loved me hard within about 2 weeks and we were having sex after 3 days, like 3-4 timmes a day....and shes in highschool and i was unemployed so prity much would sleep till lunch time when she would drive from school just to c me for lunch time every day untill school ended.when school ended and we started to take it to the next level (meeting parents/friends etc..) i would still be the chilled out guy i was like not rly putting her before freinds or anything like that (shed call non stop 4-6 timmes a day or more just to say hi and try and talk to me about everything) i was starting to like her more and more but one day we fought about me not puting her frist etc. and she eventually said she didint know if she wanted to be with me anymore, this Hurt so i wanted to make her feel my pain so i told her things that make me sick to my stomach 1 example is throwing it back in her face that she had once giver her foster brother head, and that she was prity much scum and i only wanted her for sex.after kinda making up and i told her it was all lies, (which obviously most of it was cept the brother thing) 3 days of back and forth and just everything feeling uneasy before i was to go away for a week she came to me and said she loved me and would forgive me and that wed get past it etc, and i told her i loved her aswell and while i was gone i made sure i contacted her every day via msn (i was in spain on vacation).3 days after getting back from vacation, she gets a text from her friends saying its not all about him u should spend more time with us, and the next day shes like we should take a little break (undisclosed time) eventually leading to her being VERY distant and acted like she didnt care about me anymore (but still called only like once a day though and not for long and it would be like meaningless chit chat). she would tell me shes confused and wouldent give me a straight answer for a a few days as to weather she wants to be with me anymore, so after 4 days of not cing each other she invites me over, still felt distant yet wanted to have sex, and was all kissing lovy dovy when i got close to her (she would initiate the contact)and neer the end of the night she has me in her bed and were laying there and she turns off the light and starts crying Hard about how she doesent love me anymore, when she first saw me that day she said she knew it and not 1 seccond sooner.this lead to a break, i didnt say andthing hurtfull, i let her cry on my shoulder, and just let her know how i felt and that i loved her and wanted to make her happy and would never hurt her again, and she would tell me things like just cause i dont love u doesent mean we cant be together or maybee i can love u again someday but we need to take time apart. all i can do now is think about her, its afecting me wanting to go hang with my freinds, its afecting my produtivity at work etc. id do anything to have her back please give me advice (i know the easiest thing for me is to just move on and let go, but i dont want to.)a little backround on her: im the seccond man shes slept with/been in love with, she wanted to be with me before she lost her virginity ot him.he was kinda an ass (like me) and they eventually broke, and within 3 weeks he had a 1 night stand with someone else. this led her to actually attempt suicide and now has to take anti depresents, and saw a councilor for 8 months, she got with me 4 months after breaking with him, we were together only 3 months and 1 month of that was just us being kinda love/hate still recovering from our first real fight. im 19 shes 17. she would always tell me she still loves him but knows she cant be with him and wanted me over him.
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male
reader, fcukup +, writes (13 August 2008):
fcukup is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell....she hasent called all day, just seems like she doesent care at all about me or my feelings.
seems like a game she is playing intentionally to string me along and i wont stand for it.
she came back to me the day before my spain vacation because she knew id buy her gifts...and i did, spent like 600$ on her.
came back home, after 3 days she calls for a 4 day break then has me over to tell me she doesent love me, and nothing in those 3 days went wrong, seems like she knew exactly what she felt and knew exactly how to play me like a fiddle.
fuck that, im done, i can do alot better, and dont need theese games. thanks for all your guys help.
A
male
reader, fcukup +, writes (12 August 2008):
fcukup is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyou say you were in the exact same situation......did you take him back?
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A
female
reader, kelleeashton  +, writes (12 August 2008):
 to the second follow up - she just needs time to think about what she wants ... wow i was in that exact same situation before ... and i know it SUCKS i didn't think anyone else in the world would be as crazy as to hurt that bad ... i really do understand how bad you hurt when you don't know and just can't stop thinking about her and only want to know where the two of you stand because you can't move on knowing there might be a chance or you might hurt her again ... and you just want to make her happy ... i think she just needs time but don't look forward to it ... just put her out of your mind and out of your life and if in time she calls and says she wants to be together at that point you may not want to be with her anymore or maybe you will still ... but don't dwell on it now ... she obviously isn't hurting for you like you are her ... be strong and move on without her!!! again good luck!!! let me know how it goes!!!
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A
male
reader, fcukup +, writes (11 August 2008):
fcukup is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe called again 2 hours later, saying sorry for yelling at me earlier, i told her she didnt yell but just said she couldent talk, and could we talk now"
she said shes is on her cell and just wanted to apologies and that its long distance
i told her well i spent about 40$ while in spain to contanct her so... anyways when can we talk..
she said idk, i dont even know if i want this anymore, this whole situation has led me to drink myself sober (i know this makes no sense) ( and the day i came over when wee broke up she stole luquir from her parents cabinet and i was standing right there, she told me it was for the cottage) (and shes only drank a few timmes in her life)
so i told her well i care about you, i want you, i want to make you happy, but i also realize i dont need you and i will be ok in time if this is the end. so call me if you ever want to talk.
then we both said good bye.
what do u guys make of this?
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A
male
reader, fcukup +, writes (11 August 2008):
fcukup is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit was as i feared, i waited and was looking forward to her call all day to c wheather her feelings she told me the day before were true or not....she didint call, so i called her just as i said hi she said "this is long distance i cant talk" so i quickly asked ok then then quickly tell me if what u told me last night or was it just fake shit coming out ur ass" and she said "idk, but i dont want to talk about this right now"
idk if she heard me but i said "ok then thats ur answer, good bye"
ive tried and tried but the rejections shes putting me threw and the SERIOUSLY fucked up mind games has pushed my heart away, i dont feel quite the same way about her....and now im the one confused if i really was in soo much pain because i was a clasic case of wanting something i cant have. i dont want to hurt her by finding someone else, because ive already hurt her once, but shes hurting me SOOOOOOOO bad and i cant take it anymore. i think my only choice is to move on and refuse her calls and just never try with her anymore, because me and her cant be "just freinds" because ill always want to be more. she said shed call me the next day when she was sober, i would have been ok with her saying "sorry i didint mean that, lets just move on or be freinds" or if she said "i do want u and love u and i want to work this out" either way i woulda known 100% where we stand and i could at liest get on with my life and not have her on my mind literally 100% of the time thinking about how i feel about her and trying to figure out how she feels and what she truely wants, i kinda know what she meant when she said she was confused after i hurt her. because this was a slap in the face and felt VERY deliberate, so i kinda think im feeling how she felt after i said those things to her, and now im at the breaking point where i just dont think i can have her so im coaxing myself into not wanting her and not loving her anymore.
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A
male
reader, ask sweeney :)  +, writes (11 August 2008):
 if you do love her, go with your heart, dont give up on her show her how much you WANT her but make it seem like you dont NEED her .... that way she will feel wanted but not as if you cant go without her and that way she wont try take advantage of you in anyway
take care good luck
let me know how it goes please
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A
male
reader, fcukup +, writes (11 August 2008):
fcukup is verified as being by the original poster of the questiondamn good advice thank you, it was yesterday that we had the whole i dont love u thing that went on. she went ot her freinds cottage today and i knew she was going for the next 4 days, and she got drunk, called me after i had called her earlier and she kinda cut that convo short but said shed call back and she did about 2 hours later.
she said she loved me and didint know what she was doing, i didint know if this was because she was drunk though so i said u know how i feel but it hurts for me to put it out there unless im certain. so i told her to have fun, and to call me back when shes sober the next day when i get back from work and well c how she feels then. but i also realize its more then what u say, i told her i loved her early on when i really didint, so i mean....idk what to think my heads all fucked up and shes the one doing it to it.
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A
female
reader, kelleeashton +, writes (11 August 2008):
Don't give up on her ... she has been through alot of heartbreak, probably cried herself to sleep over you numerous times and you have drained her emotionally. she probably just needs a break from the whole "love" deal all together. girls take emotional issues harder than guys most of the time so she is probably worn out from everything and i can't blame her but don't leave her in her time of need, be there for her do little things that show you care but don't expect anything in return she will come back if its meant to be and true love will always find a way! let me know how it goes good luck!
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