A
male
age
41-50,
*ayatori
writes:Me and my recent ex broke up about a week ago. Things were going great for a while but later she was wanting to spend less and less time with me. She asked me if we were going to be bus buddies and I said yeah if you want to be and she said well duh, why do you not want to be? I said "I want to be, I really do but I thought I would give you your space." She said "I don't need space, I need you!"The day before, she was the one saying that she wanted to cuddle with me and everything but then I try to cuddle with her and she didn't want to.I asked her if she was mad at me and she said no. I asked her why she wouldn't talk to me and she said that she was talking to her friends. I got a text from my cousin saying that family member of mine died and it caused me to have mood swings.We went to subway and I was going to get her something but then she wanted my friend to get her something instead. He was talking to me about it and I said that she probably hates me and then she hugs me from behind.Later, when we got back I text her saying that I was sorry if I did anything, I have been having slight mood swings because a family member of mine died. She replies by saying "Well thanks for just now telling me, your mood swings are creeping me out and pissing me off."I said that I didn't expect her to forgive me but that I just wanted her to know that I was sorry. She said that I'm always jealous and possessive. I said that I don't mean to be. She said "Your needy and I can't handle that. You say you love me and I don't even love you back." I said "Then why do YOU say you love me? Why did your heart beat so fast when I felt it? I offered to give you space and you said that you didn't need space and you needed me so therefore, your the needy one." She said that it was because she was nervous but that she doesn't feel that way anymore.I said "You know what, your right. Maybe this is for the best. I've been thinking about this for quite a while now."She said "Ok then, I guess we're over."For quite a while, she left that we were still in a relationship on her facebook for a while and she updates things often.I gave her some space and my friend was going to talk to her for me, my friend told her that he told me she wanted to talk to me and she freaked out and said "WHY?" and then said "Not right now!"I put something random on my facebook status and she commented it saying "??" and I said "What?" she said "nothing..."I waited for a few days and then I text her saying "Hey, my friend said that you wanted to talk to me so what do you want?" She said that he said that I wanted to talk to her. I said "I didn't say that but if you want to talk anyways, I guess we can." She said "whatever." I said for her to cheer up and then I said the manly version of her middle name. She said "Grrrr!" I said "What?" She said "nothing" and I said "Seriously, what?" She said "You know that pisses me off." I said "Its better to be pissed off than to be pissed on." She said "I guess so."I said "Whats wrong? You don't have to tell me, I'm just curious..."She said "I'm dating this one girl but her ex is mad because she didn't tell him first."I said "lol, interesting..."She said "Yup, and its getting annoying."I didn't respond after that. Yes, my ex is bi-sexual.I have evidence that she was cheating on her gf and her ex is helping me and I was going to have him show her the evidence but she didn't believe him, and didn't want to see the text, she said that she didn't even care but I know she does cause she was crying about it. She is obviously in denial.Yesterday, my ex text me saying "If you have something to say, say it, don't hide." I said "?" She said "This * * * * your trying is stupid, ur not breaking us up so stop trying, you both need to stop." I said "What are you talking about?" She said "Your trying to break us up and you need to stop. Don't try to play it off like you didn't do anything bc I know you did. I said "For one thing, I don't even talk to her ex..." She said "Then why are u telling your friend that u want to break us up?" I said "He also told me u wanted to talk to me but according to u, that wasn't true and by the way, I have nothing to hide.. If I had something to say, I would straight up tell you... You know that....."I looked it over and realized that I made some mistakes here:Quote:Things were going great for a while but later she was wanting to spend less and less time with me.She lost attraction, interest or just got bored. Most likely I was no longer a challenge and she felt like she had me won over and I became a wuss.Quote:I said yeah if you want to beChode ResponseQuote:I asked her if she was mad at me and she said no.This is needy.Quote:Later, when we got back I text her saying that I was sorry if I did anything.Really bad move.I have some serious inner game and self-esteem issues I should handle before I even think about a relationship. I don't have a strong sense of self and direction so I do things like "Ask my friend to talk to her" or "Apologize without even knowing if I did anything wrong." I should be the strong frame and strong reality where I know what I'm doing at all times and I am always in control.I realize my mistakes, now I want to know how I can get my ex back.Any suggestions?
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reader, Hayatori +, writes (6 April 2010):
Hayatori is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well, that is the problem... I don't know how to convince... I actually have changed but I don't actually know how to prove it.....
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