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male
,
anonymous
writes: I was writting a message on my girlfriends mobile phone and accidently erased it. When I tried to find it in the "saved msg's", I came across a message she had written when she was apparently drunk. The message read:Is it bad that i'm still madly in love with my x-boyfriend? I'm with this guy who treats me like an absolute princess, but whenever i hear my x-boyfriend's name my heart skips a beat.My heart felt like it had actually broken. She kept saying that it was ages ago and kept telling me I was the one she loves. I told her we would put it behind us, but i feel like i can't trust her as much and i'm really paranoid now.Need some feed back and any advise.Please help!
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reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (9 February 2006):
 Two choices here and its very obvious to see what they are. Your either make a go of it and start trusting her completely (regardless of whether she really does still like her ex bf or if its a thing of the past as she claims it is), or walk out of the relationship. Be mindful though that there is no such thing as an in betweener! You cant make a relationship work if there are doubts about your partner. It just doesnt work that way. I mean you can try to convince yourself that that text was written ages ago so you can make it work with her, but lets just say one day if you accidentally overhear her talking to her ex bf on the phone. What are going to do then? Will you erupt (even if the phonecall was just merely platonic)? If your answer to that is yes, then I suggest you be straigh with this girl and tell her you cant deal with it. If your answer is no, then way to go boy, you've just over comed the problem!
I hope you take this advice on board, in every relationship, trust is a must! So either learn to let go of the hurt, or walk out! Good luck!
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (8 February 2006):
 Well that is what happens when you look into others private things, so you cannot undo what you have seen and you dont seem to be able to accept her explanation so what is next ?
Ask her whay she has kept this message and who she was sending it too, how long have you been together ? did she write it when you had had a row, when we are drunk we dont always see or think clearley and she may have just been reminicing, I bet you sometimes think of other people you have loved sometimes.
Put everything into perspective and think about your options, if you cannot get over this then finish as it will only fester away at you, if you have no reason to doubt her love for you then put this in the past where it was and move on with her.
I oftern think about ex-boyfriends, but strangely I only think of the good times we had, my memory of the bad stuff seems to be abcent, some day dreaming about loves lost is natural as long as it is just day dreaming.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2006): Dont blame you for being paranoid. This message must have some meaning to her to still be in her saved messages file if she claims it was a long time ago, and especially devastating if during the period that the message was written she was telling you that she loved you. I am curious as to how long you have been together. If it is a long time (1 year plus), then I would probably let it lie, but if it is only a few months, I would probe the issue more seriously. This is only conjecture, but I am guessing that if you have only been together a few months she still has these feelings and is lying to you. In which case, I would get out of the relationship before she causes you some serious heartache.good luck.
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