A
female
age
41-50,
*orava12345
writes:I will start at the very beginning, my husband and I have been together since I was 13 and he was 15. We were each others one and only for a very long time.When I was 20 I cheated on him, knew it was wrong came clean within a month and it was over, history. We worked hard to rebuild our marriage and a year later we had our daughter.Four years ago he cheated on me with my best friend. I had suspicions but since they kept it from me for a year I put it aside as being crazy. It was devastating and her husband cut off our contact with her.We worked harder on our marriage and it's better than it's ever been. I ran across something online about my old friend, she was hurting and in pain. I reached out and it helped my healing process with her. My husband found out and their was a slew of emotions but asked if he could speak with her and it was honestly fine by me.She confirmed the story he gave me, without me prompting it. It ended after the fourth time it happened and they had plenty of opportunities afterwards. Three months before I moved out there he initially ended it, she was in love with him, he loved her but not like that but was very confused at the time. She says she felt he used her to ease his pain with our trial separation. They were both having marital problems she has since divorce.Basically I am a little scared because I lost her once and if she tries anything it's over. He has ample opportunity to cheat since and hasn't, basically am I crazzy to want this to work. Is there a chance in hell?
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best friend, cheated on me, divorce, moved out Reply to this Question
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female
reader, morava12345 +, writes (22 December 2012):
morava12345 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe have talked a lot. He says he never had feelings beyond deep friendship for her and we all three have talked together.
We live states away, so it's just hard to test sincerity when you cannot talk in person.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 December 2012):
 have you talked to HIM about it and how he feels?
sounds like they turned to each other as friends when in pain
if you trust him and her now then I can't see any reason not to try as long as you feel you can deal with it... I"m not sure I could.
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A
female
reader, morava12345 +, writes (21 December 2012):
morava12345 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy friendship with her without having to worry about the past. I just want things to go back to the way things were before with all of us.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 December 2012):
OP an you clarify what it is you want to work?
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A
female
reader, morava12345 +, writes (21 December 2012):
morava12345 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe got married when I was 18 and he was 20, I guess I should clarify that... Almost 12 years ago.
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A
female
reader, morava12345 +, writes (21 December 2012):
morava12345 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes we are still together! So over half of our lives. This being friendship, yes.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2012): So you were together since you were 13 years old like boyfirend and girlfirend and still together?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (21 December 2012):
"Am I crazy to want this to work?"
It's not clear what "this" is, but I'm going to guess it's your renewed friendship. I don't see why it wouldn't work, but that's all up to you. Both her and your husband could be completely over each other but if you're not then it might not be a good idea.
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