A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:(Really sorry about the long post, but it should set the mood)Hi guys, I've been reading this site for a while now and I think I should say what's on my mind. Im 25 (had 3 partners in 7 months before her) and my girl is 28 (she had 14 in 6 years before me). weve been in love from month 1. We've been together for 7 months now and I have been in both heaven and hell. We dont fight in the term we fight about stuff we do. Its more like we get completely hurt and killed inside being reminded of each others pasts. So to make it good with each other, we decided to remove all reminders of the past (pics, gifts, vids) this included photo albums, computer pics, facebook, any media pretty much. This all started when I started sleeping here (i live in another town, 30 minutes away) and she had pics on the walls. she said ''she never thought about them before and just forgot'' and so she instantly cut down and threw em out, and hence the train of deleting started. i went home and spent hours cleaning up my computer albums and my wall photos and all. she said she did the same. not one day passes and I find she has blog. i look it and it and boom, pics and blogs about it, even on the one night stand she had. Let me tell yea. Quite painful. Course I told her about it and she remedied it instantly. So here's the big thing:Shes a teacher at an all girls school, and the school decides to pay for her trip to go with the kids to another country (wont mention names so it doesnt track back, but i guess ages will give it away heh) Not 10 hours and I miss her like HELL. Emailed her while hanging out with friends. She misses me so much too. were retardedly madly in love, that isnt the issue here.so tonight, i decided after 7 shots of jagermeister to come home and look at her photos (she said she went thru everything and cleaned it for me) i open up the ol' time machine on the mac and wow was I killed. Now, she says she never had kissing photos or naked photos or videos before me (since shes really self conscious about her body) boy was that a lie lol. Pics of her ex that she loved on a trip, making out, and naked. then pics of almost all her 1 time guys (she only had 3 relationships out of 1 guys so...) THEN to add to it, pics of her threesome with her girl best friend and the girl's bf (ex now). As you can see, quite traumatizing. I was crying and really just wanted to stop but I figured I should look at everything all together so it doesnt come up anymore. I think I stopped at one point just cuz I THINK its over and there are just too many albums. I sent her about 15 emails (it was a progressional things, like when I found new pics I would email her or keep her up to date as I really needed to keep drinking at this point) She still hasnt even landed in the other country as shes in the air, and I dont know if she will have internet. I told her to only email me as hearing her or seeing her will make me sick right now (i even changed the background on her computer cuz it was just full of lies I guess. even typing it now makes my stomach turn). And the emails really were to be sorta being upset that she A. lied, and B. didnt do jack squat to clean up this thing. So thats that.Now, heres the thing, after I calmed down and deleted her pics and brought them back since its her choice to delete them not mine I find myself completely devoid of feelings towards the photos. Eerily devoid. This was not 10-15 minutes from me bawling my eyes out and crying my heart out on the mattress. Btw 100% she will either delete them or ask me to do it right now, she really doesnt care about her past, and it kills her how much it hurts me but alas here we are.Should I be worried? I love her with all my heart, like, 100% devoted to her. If she was any other girl I would break up with her from this (I did that to my first sexual partner ex as I couldnt get over it) but this is my girl and shes the one im gonna marry. But should I be worried or happy? Did I hit a point of not caring about her past anymore? Did I snap into good realization that pasts dont matter? Or will this lead to a train of not caring and eventually falling out with her?Please dont just say get over it, or let it go, or people have their own pasts. Ive read enough of these here that I know the basic arguements. but I think this is a new question.My question: What should I do to know for sure? Im really scared of this as it could be one of those where it leads to me losing interest in her subconsciously to cope with what I saw.Thanks! And sorry for the long post.
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best friend, facebook, her ex, her past, kissing, one night stand, threesome Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis is the poster.
Actually we knew everything about each other. And she knows I just look at her old vcations an stuff cuz I saw her fam and my friends in there. Just like she looks at mine. Wow. Wayda miss the whole point there chief. We're talking by emails and found she lied to me about her past cuz she didn't want to hurt me ironically. But yeah, wow, good post lol.
A
female
reader, TexasTexas  +, writes (8 February 2011):
I think SHE has an issue with an insecure, snooping, immature, obsessive, controlling boyfriend.
She has landed by now, and is probably in utter shock and turmoil over you violating her privacy. And then bombarding her with drunken "I'm the victim, how-could-you" emails trying to shame her.
Private is private. You don't know that she didn't just keep the tame pics. Maybe she enjoyed the whole football team. Maybe the entire cheerleading squad passed her around.
Not YOUR business. You have violated a precious part of a young lady. Her intimate moments before she met you are NOT for your judemental criticisms.
If I were her, you would simply be my psychotic ex.
I really feel for her. She should be enjoying a new experience with students in an exciting country.
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