A
male
age
36-40,
*ooLateef
writes:I really don't know where to start. I really feel like writing the whole story, but then my this post would be too long for anyone to consider reading it, and I would be left with no answers. Anyways, let's leave it at that we've been seeing each other for 5 months, during which we've met, at most, once a week, with a few rare exceptions.I've made it clear to her that I would not grow tired of her, and if it was up to me I would see her almost everyday. Of course work prevents that from becoming a reality, but nonetheless, it means I will do all I can to see her whenever she's available.Here's the deal, I work 4 days a week, run a smaller business on the side, and I am preparing for a huge final project during my next university year, and I also try to see my friends, and hang out with my family, while doing my hobbies on the side. Yet, I can find the time to schedule dates with my girlfriend at least, at least, two times a week, even three.She works once a week, hangs out with her family and friends, and does some readings to prepare herself for her final year at university, has no hobbies, and yet she only manages to find time for me, at most, once a week.At first I thought it was her final exams, which finished, then I thought it was her summer courses, which also finished. Now I've realized that she just isn't choosing to prioritize me ever.I love her, I really love her, and I want to stay with her, but this relationship is causing too much pain. I feel like I allowed myself to become attached to someone who really won't reciprocate anything that could lead to our relationship being elevated. I haven't covered any of our, mine, or her past issues, which might be contributing to this, and yet I'm already making this too long. I would sincerely appreciate any advice on what you (would) have done in a similar situation.
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male
reader, TooLateef +, writes (15 August 2010):
TooLateef is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for you answers guys.
I think I would rather break up, rather than to play a game in order to find out whether she is worth staying with or not. And to be honest, I don't think I would make such a good job at lying to her and pretend I'm busy, when really, I am busy, but I also know how to make up time for her.
Karmen, thanks so much for the advise, I will indeed consider communicating about this with her. However, how do you think I should bring this up without making her feel guilty?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): hello!!
Well, I believe that communication is a key element to a successful relationship. I would recommend you to let her know how you feel. Try to convey your message in a way that will not make her feel guilty or responsible.
Oh and no worries, I don't mind about the length of the posts. The more details the better! :)
Good luck!!
Karmen :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): What you need to do, even though it will be difficult, is back off. Keep busy, maybe even miss a week of seeing her because you are so busy. Act like it is not a big deal if you see her, that you are quite content without seeing her much.
If she cares she will start to respond by pursuing you a bit.
If she does not care it is just not going to work. Move on.
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