A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I have been in a relationship with someone I adore for just under a year. Against better judgment I decided to move in with my boyfriend after being given the ultimatum to move in or we stop seeing each other.I feel as though I have put sincere efforts into this relationship but nothing I do seems to be acknowledged. No sooner do I try to prove myself and intent in this relationship it feels as though he finds even more fault with me. I cant keep up with it, it feels as though he sabotages all of my efforts. It has gotten to the point where he calls me names, non of which are accurate or appropriate to say the least. An example of this would be that he calls me a Lazy Bitch; for the record I cook, clean, please him, take care of his dog, mow the lawn, shovel the driveway, do laundry, garden, make sure fresh coffee is on for him when he walks through the door, and so much more.He seems to show a lot of love one minute and then pushes me away the next and blames it all on me. I am currently off work and will return next month and find it disheartening to be expected to do everything around the house and 'cater to him' as verbally expected. I am really starting to wonder if I am going crazy or if there is any hope for this relationship? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (18 August 2009):
 Have you tried to convey this to him at all? Say "I am not being lazy, nor am I a bitch. And to have you call me that is love-killing."
He sounds awful to me. "Lazy bitch" indeed! That isn't a situation I could tolerate at all, even if I was being lazy. And from the sound of it, you are not.
Run your relationship through this little questionaire. Then let me know if anything sounds familiar.
http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171 [you have to copy/paste that whole url, the link isn't complete because of the '?']
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): My dear Google Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Living with a narcissistic man, Abusive Relationships, Verbal Abuse, Signs of an Abusive Relationship, How to recover from abusive relationships and so on.
If you read those articles it will take you on a journey of self revelation.
Your boyfriend sounds like a jerk, more than a jerk, abusive and you need to break up with him and find your own place.
This isn't something you can fix. Especially if he shows signs of a personality disorder. Only a professional can diagnose that, but you need to find one who is familiar with NPD or Borderline Personality Disorder and how to deal with it and diagnose it.
You aren't happy and the longer you stay the more you are going to feel like you have lost your grip on reality, your self esteem and spirit will be gone and you will have trust issues for life. Get some therapy for yourself and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): I had a partner like that. One day we were grocery shopping and I had hold of the trolley full of food and I just happened to let it go and it smashed into the side of the car. I replied oh my god, what have I done! My thoughts were elsewhere. I then dumped him
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A
female
reader, busy04 +, writes (18 August 2009):
 MOW THE LAWN!!! Wow, why can't he do those things?He's using you, very controlling, verbal abuse-no one should be called a bitch for any reason. I don't think this type of thing is healthy, one partner does not make the relationship, it's 50/50 from both. You need to leave him, you need better, you deserve better! Don't settle for this, you know that you are doing all the right things, and he shows no appreciation for you...and from the looks of it, honey you deserve an award for girlfriend of the year! Don't stay with him, there is someone else out there that will take everything you do for him into consideration :)Wish you the best!
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